Part XI

The second week of July, Sunday, I returned back to my school that evening. The eleventh grade had been over, and now I was in the twelveth grade. We were the most senior students in the school. When I was back to school, there were already many friends who had arrived earlier than me. The day had been so hot and the journey had been tiresome. So, I had walked up to the hill alone, which I did almost everytime I came from home. Stayed there for some hours looked around. The incredeble moment that I spent in lonliness and the beautiful nature would always treasure for ther time I lived in the hostel. With the moment
I would be seeing all this was for the next few months... the freedom to let the eyes see the farthest distance, the heart to feel the the greatest depth and so much of the things.

But now I was already back to school and there was something different to think about. The new class in the morning. It was all that I was only taking my mind.As I entered, I saw few changes in the hostel. They had put on the metal chain gate. It was made in such a way, that there would be no way to get into from one to the other. Perhaps they had done it to avoid any conflict between two different grades alike that we had with the senior just a month back. When I climbed the stairs, I saw something had been changed. Last year it was seniors they had doors in their room. But this time, they had taken out all the doors and placed the curtain in it.i was surprised with it.

Kush and other friends had already been a day before I had even arrived it was that much of the feeling that would make me feel lonely. Now I had different roommates. I was not with my old mates of pokhara any more. Instead it was the new friends that I had met them, those with whom I spent the most of the time. It was a new room in the second floor. I was lucky I was given the top bed again this time.That evening after the food I went straight to bed. I was so tired I didn't feel to talk more. So, did my friends, just hopwing for the next day to begin.

Earlier, I had already taken the room with new roommates. It was already during those practical exams, we had got the new rooms on the second floor and I was not staying with my pokhareli friends anymore. Other roomates, Tiger and Rochan too had given up the team. The group was now accompained by Raju, one of the oldest mate and Ujjal, classmate, also from the same hometown.

As for me, I was with Kush and his brother Lava along with Janak and Sudarshan his roomates of the last year. I had decided to be with them. Kush and me, we had decided to be in the physical group where as the others belonged to the biology group. So, it was almost every moment we were together. In class, we had the seat together in the last bench. I took the seat at the corner and he was always next to me. Two consecutives benches ahead of us were the seats for the girls. But the third was still for the boys, two of them infront of us were Bidhur, the most talented in the class and cool and Nakul, good but always tried himself to make him punk. Both did keep great interest over girls. And in the fourth we were with Shivaji, a black guy, a positive guy for us but awlays make big expressions about himself and Rajeev, fascinating so, quite impressive to girls.

The next day I came to know that they had published my article "My Greatest Tragedy" in the school magazine. I was extremely delighted with it. It was a story that I had written and had been selected out of the hundreds. I felt greatly blessed. It was the true story of my little dog THUNDU, whom I had lost forever.

The first week of August, Wednesday, we had the welcome program for the juniors in the eleventh grade. We, the twelveth grade students made all the necessary preparations for the program. Some friends did get the musical instrument ... the electric guitars and the drums. The girls, they prepared dances and some of the friends they went for a drama. After all it was estimated to be a three hours program.

At three in the day, the show initiated after the arrival of the school principal. The hall had almost been full with students and staffs including most of the teachers. Things didn't go bad. As my turn was about to come ... I had already lost all my nerves. The heartbeat had gone up. I tried to refresh myself in the bathroom, flushed my face with water, I looked myself in the mirror, goddamned it had completely blushed me to redness even before the show.

Before the drama, it was my turn and they called out my name. I was to sing the song that I had written two years back when I was in holidays after I had fininshed my high school. Well, my Suresh, he had worked hard to make add the lead stuff to the rhythm. To be in the stage with a guitar and singing for some hundred of people and for the first time. I was feeling proud of it though I was loosing the confidence. But the cordination was so good that I happened to make no mistakes and I felt the great success of having it done.

But before I had even begun it, something had surprised most of my friends. In the stage I had told " The song is dedicated to all old friends, all twelveth grade student but specially to whom I had written for.” I could see the girls started the murmerand whisper after it unless I satred my song.

Ujjad mero Jiwan (Desert like life)

Ujjad mero jiwan ma timilai sajau ma kasari
Mero manko bedana timilai sunau ma kasari

Doshi chan mera ye ankhaharu bishwash daeu timilai kasari
Jhuutaa chan timra asha haru bharosha deau timilai kasari
Baru bhulidau malai shadhai shadhai ka lagi

Birano cha mero sansar dekhahu timilai kasari
Sasto cha mero jiwan upahar daeu yo timilai ma kasari
Baru bhulidau malai shadia shadhai ka lag

After the show ... some of my friend told me that they liked my song and asked for me to write it for them. Manoj even asked me to write it down in his diary which made me really happy. Suresh, the guitarist he even asked me to make a record of it and assured me that he would do all his best to help me. I was so glad to get all the good compliments. I knew, thought many should have not got what I had sang, but they had done it to built up my confidence as I knew they loved me and liked me for all that I did or that I gave it to them. More than a good song... a good rhythm or a good composition. It was love ... the true love ...and the great friendship.

Well, next day, morning something even surprised me. Our physic lecturer, Puspa, he asked me ... who had I dedicated the song that afternoon. I told him it was only just a part of a fun.

The same weekend, 5th August, Friday, we were out in the lawn after our lunch in the noon. From a friend, we learnt one of our classmate had been called to the office for teasing a girl, Devi pun from the junior 11th standard. More than this, he even had written something about her in their classroom blackboard So, the girl had gone to the principal with tears in her eyes. The principal in no moment decided to resticate the guy from the school.

There were still two classes to be taken after the lunch break. After than we talked to our warden, Sacre, he was clever and good at making the thing write as even the Pricipal and the campcommandent would hear him.

As it was the first Friday, everyone was also excited for the weekend to go home for the holiday. The warden he gave words that we would do his best to convince the principal. Our class to stood with the campcommandent to talk about the matter. He too assured the possiblities for excuses.

After then the boys were gone. But later that afternoon, the notice was pasted on the board of the office. Our friend Kiran had been resticated. The pricipal made the decision. There was nobody that could act against it. It was final.

The last week of August I received a letter from narjan.
23 Aug ‘98

Dear Yubraj,

I am fine here and I pray the god for you and all your friends’ good health . How are you? Hope you are having pleasant day with our guys. How about all other guys – (Santosh )2 , Yogen and all others. May be they are too enjoying there. I am sorry for writing so late but what to do there are many problems hope you all understand, what ‘s that sort of problem.?

How are you guys passing your days? We have nothing special and new. All is same, quite boredom. Yeh! How about your new commers of 11th grade . Ah ! our all very very intelligent ones. Non below 76%. There are 16 boys and 16 girls 50% 50. Most of them are from SOS, St. Mary’s , Kumdini Homes. We just had a debate program. It was quite interesting. Oh! The hostess , quite beautiful speech she had and you know all the 11 girls has such a English tone that they are more than BBC news reader. The participants were 4 boys from our class and no girls and 6 girls and 2 boys from eleven. 11 girls are quite forward in their speech and thinking . Girls from 11 won 1st and 2nd prize and ours 3rd prize.

How about your result? Ours not to good. Among 28, 23 passed i.e. 82% passed, while 5 failed. It was horrible for one boy. He failed three subjects and he is I think out. I got unexpected result ‘372’ Anand was second with 71….% and Raju and Rajesh were third 70………each. 11 stood in first division and 12 in 2nd div. I had poor marks in English. (56) and chemistry (67) and others are above 80.
How about yours and all my dear friends of Pokhara ? I hope they’ve all done good. Please write to me about.
What to write much , things are much but can’t write as if there were no matters to be dealt with .Hope your studies are going smoothly. Please write to me soon and I again ask pardon for writing late Give my best regards and lovings to all our Pokhara friend Santosh, Prakash, Yogen Bishnu ,Niroj ,Raju , Rochan, Kushal and all other I know.
I look forward for your letter.
Yours loving Friend
Narjan Grg
(sb) 62%
Raju Poudel and Anand ask for you.

For the holiday, I was there in hostel. There were only sixteen in total. We weren't enough to start anything against it except waiting for our friends to come back.
Sunday, we were looking for our friends to come so that we would tell them all the reality that had happened. The office administration had deceived us. They had told us not to bring it with bad results but they had lied us.But it was strange, our friends didn't come at all. We kept looking none did come. However we did have the classes. Even with that few students. From this we learnt something should have happened.

Well, that evening from a friend we came to know that our boys, the classmates had gathered all the day instead of coming to school. As it was trying to get dark. All they became together to talk to the principal, especially to the camp commandent and the Sacre, who had given them words and had promised them they would turn up so bad resticating a guy only for teasing a girl.
It didn't take long that the camp commandent did appear infront of us. After sometime the principal did come too. He told that the decision had been made and it couldn't be altered. He too was sorry for it.

With his speech, everyone was anoyed. The crowd then moved away from him. Finally they decided to go to the police headquarter to potest against it to the patron of the school, Inspector General o.f Police Auchit Krishna.The principal told us, it was useless going on futher because action was already taken, and in no way it would be reversed back. However, for the comfort he told he would arrange the school bus for the boys to take them to the Valley. But the boys denined his offer.On the way to valley, it wasn't so easy for tham to get bus or any vehicle to carry them to the capital, which they partly regreted in not taking the offer. But still they were lucky enough to get a truck to carry most of them ...after few hours walk.

After they had reached the valley. There was yet a long way they had to walk to the place. But it was already late when they reached it. IGP had already left the office and to his recidence. Finally they all decided to stay there over the night.Well, there were many, who slept in the street, making their bags pillow and lying on it, with their school uniform still on them. But some of the cleaverers ones did silently leave the place, either they went to their homes or they stayed up a night in a hotel.

At about four it rained. And it was heavy thought it didn't last for long. And this rain did make almost every one got wet. Some did manage to made a fine place in the seat of the cabs nearly by to escape from it.Well, most of them couldn't sleep and they still felt dazling when the morning sun rose high up in the sky.That morning when they gathered there were about thiryfive. Half of the others had been missing. They had escaped the place for a night.

When the AIGP arrived they decided to talk to them. They not only talked about Kirans affair but also brought every problem in school and hostel and also regarding teachers and staff.But the man they had thought would help them instead told them that he would even resticate all of them from the school for misbehaviour and not being in discipline. He added only the noterious guys had remained there as more than half of them, the inteligent ones weren't present there or had already escaped through the night.Now, it was concluded, there was never a thing left that they could do more to rescue a friend. All of the efforts just went in vain. But after they tried to get back to the school, they were asked to bring their parents. But it was solved with a sort of sort term discussion with the principal.

After a month, of our school, we were asked to come for the evening selfstudy in the class building in our school uniform. And there would be a teacher to assist us with our studies. It was the thing I always hated. I hated it for the last nine years. I was happy for that I wasn't doing it for a year. But again it came.Well, I would love rather love to be in hostel and do my study in my own rather than being together with everyone.The rules didn't last longer, in not more than two weeeks ...usually it was me and Amru that were always the one that came in school uniform, others would come with different acasuals. But still we did continue with it for longer...And perhaps, it was the main reason I was impressed with, she was simple in contrast to her friends. And I did like for for that she was. But in longer ... some of my friends did sort it out and I had to give up.

Perhaps it was sort of human instincts that by born almost every human was to the attaction to the opposite sex. She was beautiful… her voice was nice… so perhaps there should have been many who liked her… And I too couldn’t ignore that I had some feelings.Out of all there was a friend who even had liked her the most. It was in few months because of her he couldn’t continue with it so he decided to leave the school and he did it. But even before he left… many times he often talked to me about her and how much he liked her. Once … just about a week before he left the school forever he talked to me in the lonely… with the tears in his eyes he had told he would never succeed to study with her in the same class.As for me… thought I had the reasons to like her and would always wish to see her… but still I always believed I would somehow restrain through every situation. There were much more realities that I could built in myself so that it would easily isolate me from others… from myself too… and from my desires.

Though in the beginning I was distracted with the evening classes, when it was to be done there will be no way we feel bad with the thing that we do everyday.Every evening class, usually most of the people in the class would be doing something of their own... Perhaps some numerical problems of physics or chemistry... or the mathematics instead. Kush and me, we were in the mathematics group. We did have a great deal to do as it was only us, the ones who would do almost all the sums. It was easier for me because he was so good with it and sometimes when he couldn't proceed some of them, we together would make it. And this sometime did amuse us and of being together.But most of the evening we would play sort of games in our copies. We had a lot of fun doing so. But many times the teachers would watch us and tell us to concentrate in our studies when we did sometime make the whole class notice us when we laughed or fought for our reason. We would then realise, we were getting too loud.

Usually, for our evening class we would be driven from our hostel at fifteen minutes to five. Sacre, the warden would shout in his loud and husky voice "Do fast and leave your room. I want all of you out of the hostel immediately... and right now " Then he would start from the room at the corner, looking into each room for if there is anyone there. Still he would go on "I will break your ribs if you be late."

It had been only a week, we had started with the evening class I had been late for the late for my own reason... only about a quarter of an hour late. It was raining, though not heavy but still enough to make wet. The way had not been so good too because of the rain so it was also taking me more time to get to the place.As I was ready to enter the class. From the side of the building, Sacre called us, me and the friend who had come along with me. There were few others mates who were with him.Then he asked us for the reason of being late. We both told him with that we had to. Then he told us. "You liked to soak in the rain, no? if you be late you have to do it. Go, stay there out side in the lawn for next half an hour… It will do a good job for you."

There was no way we could offend him. We always had feared him for what he was. So, without speaking a word we stayed in the rain for half an hour, totally soaked with rain. The cold water slowly runing down through our skin, taking ouor heat and blushing coldness in our blood and making us shiver in the dark.After this, there was still about an hour to go. After then we entered the class. When the class was over, I could say I was almost dry. I had felt the wamth inside even through the wet school uniform I was wearing.Next day, morning when I open my eyes, I realised I had caught cold, and also had the fever. The last evening had brought all this. But still I decided to take the classes. There was nothing to do in the hostel all the day. Class was better.

Well, Kush had always been so good. Usually he did always hear to me. Sometimes when I didn't feel good he was the one who would always care about me the most. More than his words he was better with his heart, which perhaps resembled for all did do. Sometimes, during the hot sunny days when I would rest in my bed for some hours he would carry some bread and fruits and bring it to me ... thought I would never metion him to do it for me. I always loved him for all that he did for me.

Just like the kids ... we had so many stories. I would tell him all I had. He too would do the same. But sometimes I forget the things that had already told earlier. When I did get the same things repeated then he would tell me... It's the third or it's the fifth, six seventh or eighth. Then I realised I had to talk of something new.Even sometimes ... we did have small fights even in little arguments. He would always be against me for any thing we played matter if it was the game of scrabble or chess. He would always help my opponents against me. Usually the times when we walked along the way to the hostel or from it... Kush with some others roommates would try to push me out of the way down to the terraces. It was only very few times I would succeed to throw them off because it was usually me, whom they would throw down the way. So, was I defeated.

In truth, we were like kids ... though we sometimes fought for even the small things but still it was that after sometime ...we were together again we walked together and had the tea.Through the time together and after these many years, I still feel the realities floating in my eyes. Though the past realities and good moments with friends now seem like a dream or a sort of illusion ... but with getting so much from him and sharing of everything, memories I possess are still enriched with the freshness of our love. He always did try to convince for all my mistakes, advised me for the right things and his keen desire to be with me in my difficult moments. He was truly the one someone that could be the next part of me, from all those good friends we have... because sometime I realised he did feel my problems more than I had felt them.

It was no only that we were good in both good and the difficult times. We sometime would make mind to do something ... didn't matter for if it was good or bad. Once we even came out from the school to steal Mel, a sort of fruit in a big tree, very common in that locality. It was the evening at 4 when we two of us ran down the hill in the green bushes and big trees, ...and through the fields that had grown up so high because of the monsoon.When we reached there, I decided to climb the tree and he decided to look for the ones that I dropped from the top. He did collect them all. We did make enough to fill our pockets with small and big ones and return back to hostel happily.With all this fun ... pleasure... above all the great treasure of the love we had for each other.

Day after day... weeks passed, then months and finally the even seasons. It was winter and it had just been a couple of days we had been back to the school after about a month vacation.It was then our Guru, Shakre, we would wake us up early in the morning at about quarter to six and after sometime call us to come out in a line to go for some morning exercises. In winter, the light would come in the sky only after seven. So, the time we came out of the hostel... we would see the frost covering the mainland, and the light piercing through the darkness to bring the day.
The cold... I wouldn't resist it. As, I had never been good athelet, I would usually be the last one in the line. Everyday the run would be about some kilometers. We would go to two temples in the locality that were closer to the school and then do some physical exercises in the football ground, just below our hostel.

Even from the first few hundred meters my throat would soar, and the cough from it would make me feel like everything was coming out of me. But still I did it ... though it was one of the things that I hated the most in the hostel.It lasted for about a month, before it was too cold. Then I was happy again. To be in bed, warm and delighted ...

With the time ... I felt we were slowly coming to an end of our schooldays. With the passage of every day it would make me feel, sad even thinking about the days after school. I would imagine ... the days wouldn't be so happy after it. We wouldn't have so much fun among ourselves with every little thing that we would be doing or with that we would be sharing together, with a lot's of joys and celebrations in the little victory and a sort of sharing our hard times together.Living away from home and from the family... it is different. Well, it would never be so easy to get into it ... but when we succeed in getting through, then we feel we exist in a different isolated world. A sort of a virtual world, which exist for it's own reason with it's own rules and things that go on and on and usually with no affects from the surrounding.

It hadn’t been long I had arrived from home I again got the letter from Narjan.
23rd Nov ’98

Dear Yubraj

After a long interval (I think so… ), I am sitting to write a few words of remembrance to you. Anyway I ask pardon for being late in writing. Though, I am not busy but I even don’t find much time to write. You know it’s problem of all .Oh! how are you? And how about all those Pokhreli guys With god blessing you all may be fine and I pray for your and other friends good health and happy days.

My days are passing just passing without any fruitfulness. Just the same work, go study come and same boredom repeats. Nothing enchanting or enhancing. Yeh! I forgot we had a tour. But it was very unlucky or unsuccessful trip. We hoping to Darjeeling couldn’t go because of the strike there. We went Dharan, Dhankuta, Illam, Pashupatinagar, Silguri, Biratnagar, Jogbeni and all the places lying within. It was not quite interesting. Ya, shouting, singing and antakshari was quite interesting. You know Raju. What we did. There are two liking for same one. You know whom I mean. We sitting behind made such critical and satirical poems, songs and sang that all came to know about it expect girls. Teachers, girls all were asking who those were. But she is not quite good yaar. When we were singing such critically, one girl said “Pyar kya to darna kya”. She’s not even fair. You know in school somebody (R_) took a photo of hers. She did such a scandal that made Raju feel to leave her. But I don’t what’s in him.

Apart from this there’s nothing interesting . Nothing exciting. How are you guys passing your days? Give my warm regards to all of he boys – Raju, Yogen , Niroj, (Prakash )2, Kushal, Rochan, Bishnu, (Santosh )2

P.S-We had exams all poor performances but eleven’s was a good performance. A girl stood first in eleven with 87%. She’s quite brilliant. We had very bad performance for which we were badly threatened by the coordinator.

It was one of those late evening in winter. After the meal in the evening, it hadn't been long we were back to our rooms from the dining hall.It was then, Sacre, our guru, called us out of our room. It was so soon, hearing his soar voice ... everybody was out in the corridor making their way infront of his room. There he was ... infront of the door, asked everyone to sit on the floor. His anguish could easily be understood from his voice. He told.The first day he warned us… in his husky voice. Though his words were too rule but still they were still numb that day I would say.Few days later, he again called us out… it was again something, somebody had broken a key inside the lock of his room. And this time he looked even horrible with wide opened eyes on his dark face. After we all came out to him in the corridor he shouted," You are all the lazy foes... perhaps you need some special treatement. Who is the bastard that broke the plywood of the door. I know I will find this, and when I find know guys how will I treat that person. If non of you are telling me tonight, you will all have to suffer."

Well, the next morning, in the corridor there was a blow of whistle early morning. Yes he did it. We were all asked to get ready for the physical exercises. Within next fifteen minutes, it was not longer than this we were in the hostel lawn ready to go for the run.

We were soon to leave for the winter vacation… just two days before we were to leave I received a letter from Som sir again.


17th Dec 98

Dear Yubaraj,

I’m fine here. I hope you’re also fine there. I’m sorry to delay myself to reply you. Altho I received a couple of letters from you, I couldn’t reply them promptly .I think you don’t mind it .Do you ?

How are santosh, Kushal, Prakash, raju , Bishnu and others? Do they remember me? I some time do remember them. However I never have written them. Please pass my remembrance to them. If you meet Jiwan and Bishwa raj convey my hello to them too.

How are your days in DPHSS Sanga? Are you doing your best at your study? I thinking you are working hard. I think you know that roots of education are bitter but it’s fruits are sweet. That’s why I believe that you are laboring hard. How is your first year’s result ? Quite satisfactory or excellent? Let me know it in your next letter.

I still remember the days we had when we were together here. However I missed you forever and it’s not unusual. Every teacher does miss his beloved students and so I did. Am I right in saying so? Altho I remember you every week I haven’t written bimonthly. It is because I am busy at work and lazy at leisure! How do you think? It is true ,isn’t it ?

Once I phoned you from Pokhara, during Dashain Tihar holidays but I couldn’t receive you there. Your father told me you weren’t there.
Now I want to stop here but I will write you again.


With the newyear 1999, we had some changes in school camp-commandent. For the first time DSP was appointed for the post. He was a fat man in about forties named Narendra Pradhan. Initially he tried to prove strict in the school. He would come to hostel and look at us… told everyone to make their hair shorter… he also didn’t allow us to put rings…chairns or belts. But in few weeks he normally didn’t interfere with the students, which I liked… and he didn’t seem to be stict… that was the next part of him. But something so funny about him was… he always had piles of Hindi movies in his room. More than him… it was his wife who wanted. During the holidays or weekend… we always had to go to his room to get VCR to watch the movies in the hostel.

About the movies… he brought new laws in the hostel… english movies were band… because of sexual explicity.

One evening after our meal… we were busy in our hostel room with out own ways. I was busy in my bed preparing the notes of the recently taughts lessons. We were shocked the most of the roommates who were just opposite to our room had run away from the hostel that afternoon… and in the evening they were back… and they were coming from the window from our room. Yogen, Bishnu, Ujjal… including Prakash Shrestha and Rishav. Though they were clever enough that guru didn’t spot them… but unfortunately Sacre was already know about the fact. Just sometime later during the counting… they were all caught and were taken to the office to the principal and camp commandent.When they were taken as… gurus reached some distance we started hitting the metal roof with anything we found. It had made the loud noise in the hostel. Later from them… the ones that were taken to the office we learnt that they were asked the same question… Where had they been? They were even slapped. And also each of them was given a sheet of paper to write about all that they had done in the day.

They were lucky they had already planned the situation thinking the possibilities that they might be caught. And also Campcommandent didn’t take it serious so momentarily it didn’t become the problem.

Few weeks later one Saturday morning early at six we started up for a walk. We were to be taken to the “Asha Puri” temple ( meaning wish fulfilling temple) which about four kilometers from the school. It was only meant for the higher secondary school students and it too included the girls.It was good to see every one in the magnificent dresses specially boys would be wondering about the girls. With the morning sunshine and the wamth it became a beautiful walk. It was a different feeling being away… a glory … a sort of different but a real happiness. It was a complete two hours walk to the top and then down the hill… We were all in our own groups of two… three or even more in a group. Where as for the girls they were all together. And Sacre guru had been with them. The persons that we were together were Kush Janak and me… One the way we talked a lot of things… but as their frequent request there were two different stories I told them to make our selves busy on the way.

Through small streams beautiful pine trees and fields… finally we reached the place… it was only a small temple and even before us people around the place had come there for the morning prayer. Almost every of the friends went for prayer… I didn’t feel the importace… for me the place was beautiful and something more beautiful was getting away from the school.

We stayed there for sometime… and our breakfast was there… tea… eggs, bread and apple. They had carried everything from the school for us expect for the tea they had cooked at the place. Getting was the same but this time with us was the Mahandra guru. And it was now to hear all his stories. We kept hearing them all the way till the school gate which we reached at only about ten in the morning. It was quite a long walk… and we were sort of tired and exhausted after the walk.

Time didn’t take long… seconds after seconds… days then week and months… teachers rushed to finish the courses before our sent up exams and it took until the last day of the last week before the courses were completed. I was feeling sad about leaving the school. Life wasn’t going to be easier afterthen, which I knew. More than anything else I was going to miss the friend very much… the great friends that I have met and made... in such a beautiful place. The great true assets I believed I had.

Since we were all to depart and perhaps never were to see each other again. So, for the memories we many of us had made the memoir. I too had one… an old one from the high school.
During the last week of our classes, these memoirs were from and to to girls and boys hostels… what boys did… they disfigured the girls writings that were in the girls memo… and as for the girls… the ruptured the pictures of the boys in their memoirs.

Last day of the school… Friday, everything turned worse… There was a sort of fight been boys and girls however it was only limited within our class. Boys would tell or speak anything to the girls… where as the girls they silently had to accept the humiliation.During the break, everyone was out except for the girls. That moment Shama she told me her problem I quetly heard her… but there wasn’t anything I could do against the boys. But still I felt lucky that she trusted me and told her feeling and I felt so fortunate that someone was there that felt trustworthy for me.

After then before I came out of the class there was something I had thought for the day. I came to Amru and handed her a sticted wrapped piece of paper… I had written something over it.
“It is something that you needed to give it to someone who had asked for…….………………..
But it’s just for you ………”

However it wasn’t the proposal letter… it just included two lyrics that I had asked with her. Few months back I had asked Amru for the songs. She had assured me that she would do her best to get it for me. But it was the last day and I hadn’t got yet from her. But few days earlier I had got the all the songs that I had asked from her. “Girl of my dreams” by Moffats and “I’ll be missing you” by Puff Daddy.

However I thought… she might think it a proposal letter and return it back to me infront of everyone… but it didn’t happen… she took it with her self.

Even after the break when we were back to class… things didn’t improve… speaking everything throwing out the pieces of chalks to the girls … these all things did continue. Something that greatly embarassed the girls the most was that the following morning someone had put a condom underneath the girls desk. This then became the scandle. After the noon the classes were over and so the conflicts also seemed to be over.

But next morning it was surprise. Everything had become so irressitible to the girls so they made complains to the gurus. They had called on some of our frieds to the school office to talk with the authority about the matter that happened a day earlier. Initially Sacre took the friends that the girls had given the names but later we all decided to go. And in front of the office there was a sort of discussions betwwen the boys and girls… surprisingly some of them even had the tears on the eyes… however only the girls… there wasn’t any difference with the boys. I couldn’t see it for longer because guru decided to end it up for the time being. But girls became so serious about the matter that they told they were not going to let it go so easily.

The day was off… and during the day we had dicussed that most of us wouldn’t appear in the for the physics exam next day. That evening we were gone for the food… while we were returning back from the hostel we heard of an accident. We heard that Nakul… our classmate had broken his had because of the power flow on the roof. The incident happened in the bathroom… something everyone became curious was that why had he climed to reach the metal rods on the roof. We knew the answer… because boys always hid the stuff like cigerrates and tobaccos on the roof… so not to be accused during unexpected checkings. Later things became so voilent that no one was given the chance to ask why had he touched on the metal roof. Because of the incident we all decided to gather and then we went into the office. We were wondering to see principal but both the principal and the camp commandent had gone to the girls hostel because we learnt that some of the girls hadn’t taken the meal that evening and they had stayed up crying in their room…. Some hadn’t even slept through the night. As for us when both of them came back we told them about our complaints about the power leakage in the hostel and telling them that it had been made by the Sacre and the electrician. We told the electrician had done it with the order of Sacre. But when the electrician was brought he added that he was known about the fact earlier… so this even made the friends aggressive.

To assure the fact… principal and the campcommandent decided to visit our hostel. Along with them, also came the police personnels. When the checked the spot… the electrician showed there was really the high power leakage. Then the principal scolded the electrician for not letting them know about the fact and for not maintaining it in time. When the power was stwiched off we were all called out of our hostel at the entrance the junior brothers were busy with their studies and Puspa sir was trying to help them and keep them busy. As the electrician came down to us… some of the friends asked him about the matter… where as some of them… in an anguish rushed to hit him. He was small guy… thin and pale… As soon the crowd it’s became so desperate of him that they tried to pull him in between them to hit him… but Puspa sir came and took him away from us… and soon the police personnels took him aways from our hostel. I was happy for that he was aways because if they had got him… they would have beaten him bad in the dark. After then the principal came and he told that he was so sorry for the incident. He asked pardon and he also begged for the mis happening.

Because of the leakage… that night power supply was cut in our hostel. But as the next day we had the physics exam. We were given five candles for each room for the studies… But within ourselves we had already decided that we weren’t to attend the exam the next day. That night instead of the studies I stayed up late on the candlelight copying the songs of the Beatles. Nextdays we again assured that ourself to reject the exam paper. And as per decision all of us from our class we came out of the class in the first ten minutes of the beginning of the exam. The first one from our class to leave the room was Shama.Because of us … about fifteen of the junior brothers also rejected the exam. While we were getting back to hostel… Sacre tried to stop… but we were too many to be stopped so we went on. For us we were all gathered in hostel whereas for the junior brothers they were called by the gurus and were taken to the principal

After our lunch, we were all in hostel when Sacre came to call all of us. He took all of us to the office. To talk over the matter two SSP Officers and an additional Inspector were called. They asked us what the problem was and what was the reason that we had abandoned the exam. We told them the time was too short for exam and we hadn’t got enough time to prepare. We also told that we only had twentyfive days for the final and it was also too short. We told them there wasn’t time in giving the exam rather for us it was necessary to prepare for the finals. And some even put the opinion that they wanted to gone home for the preparation. However they told us that the sent up would help us for the finals and ahead of it it was the school rule… if we didn’t follow it then perhaps in future others many not also follow it… and it might lead to other problems. And additionally they brought subjects of few of the friends… Ramesh and Laxman going to girls hostel in the midnight, which I was never known and about the incident a day earlier about the girls. I was surprised… girls had told everything to the principal. Things just went on and on about the same matter... for about some hours… but finally not letting it to create more problem… SSP deicded in favour of us… he even told we… the one interested to go home would go for the leave until the exam. In the mean time Laxman… came out of the office from the principal’s room… he had blood over his mouth… he didn’t talk to anyone instead silently made his way towards the hostel.

Sometime later… we went to talk to him about what SSP had decided for us. He told that the ones who left home had to return on the twentieth day with their gaurdian. Else he told that they wouldn’t be allowed to sit the finals from the school. And for those who would be staying he told they had to appear the sent up test. The argument went up till the late noon. Initially some of the friends almost accepted his proposal but later we decided to reject it. The principal was such a bulheaded there was no way we could convince him… Later we had to give up the arguments with him… and decided to go for the dinner… while getting back… some of the friends threw stones over him… some even shouted ‘Pagal’ (Mad person)

It was already trying to get dark… as we moved away from the office. Then we planned to go to the dining hall for the dinner. As we reached there we were called back to the assembly ground
There, the principal and the campcommand with about ten other police personnels in uniforms were waiting for us. He asked us to stay in line… But we didn’t we gathered in the corner of the school building and sat on the ground. Then the principal took out his note and read the names and told them to come out from the group.

The first name was Laxman’s… he nearly called about thirty names however leaving the names like Kushals and Rishavs telling that they were some how nice. He also read the names of the boys that the gils had given him… the one that had spoken dirty to the girls. After reading the names, he told that he was to resticate them immidiately, so asked police personnels to take them in the Police Van. But before they were taken… we decided to walk out and join the isolated friend before the police personnels took them… Then the pricipal was so furious… additionally, Krishna again had the discussion with him when the pricipal caught his collar and was almost to hit him… but it was strange… Krishna wasn’t frightened.

Then suddenly we saw Laxman was leaving the crowd and rushing towards the hostel… We were all frightened… if his desperation would left to some unexpected results. Then we all decided to rush to him… in anguish… terror hatred and passion… we shouted and ran after him. Sacre was trying to stop us… but he wasn’t enough to hold all of us…

We were very much scared of Laxman. The pricipal had accused him of being the leader of all of us… moreover he was named as first person to be resticated. So, we left the necissity that we should be holding him if incase anything might happen. Some even shouted because of the desperation he might jump from the hill on the way to the hostel. However anything bad didn’t happen. All of us then gathered at the hostel… we were all upset … depressed and terrified… everybody’s face told the same thing. Though, there might had been misunderstanding several times but still today… today we were all together… we had tied together to ourselves that we had walked every paces togther and had decided to take the damages together too. I could see… eveyone was so desperate in anguish terror and fear they were not able to hold their tears… But still everyone was trying to console each other. Seeing all my friends, it had also become irresistible to me.

While we had gathered in front of the hostel lawn… Sacre once again came to console and lead us… but we told him… we would never trust him again. He had already decided us twice… once when our things were lost and next when one of our friends was resticated for teasing the girl and both the times he had deceived us… So, never again we were again going to trust him. Initially Sacre told he would like to take few of us for a talk again to the principal instead we rejected him… we all decided to go.

Principal was at the backyard of our classroom building… by this time it was alrady getting dark… when we approached the place… the police peronnels came infront of the pricipal for the security. They were holding us … not letting us to get to the principal. Then in the crowd we started shouting.
“Principal………..Give resignation”
“We don’t want ……..Principal…”

In the dark the crowd grew louder and louder… and soon junior brothers too came to see us which made even a bigger crowd. Though they might had just come to see us… but still it gave a greater strength. With darkness the crowd tried to get more voilent. So, the police personnels took the pricipal from the place into his office. After sometime he wrote a regisnation letter to us telling police personnels to give it to Laxman and it should be taken to the IGP (The police head officer) by himself. When he was given… he fell off on the ground. He was hurriedly rushed to the medical just next to the place. Everybody rushed into the place… the crowd gathered shouted cried and wept…so, it was making everyone weak. But no one was wishing to give up.
Laxman had just fainted but soon came to conciousness… so, then the crowd decided to go to the office. The police personnels were there at the main door that led the room to the principal’s office. They would in no way let anyone enter into it. Physically we were already getting weaker… but the darkness was giving us with more and more strength. And now the junior brothers also seemed to join us so we were getting more powerful instead. The only thing we wanted that moment was the resignation of the principal. Now it was the only thing we were shouting for. And for that Santosh Grg … decided to be leading all of us… But also he was trying his best to keep control upon all of us. From the office he brought the information… we were asked to keep patience… they told IGP was to come for it.

We were tired and exhausted … so for sometime the crowd it came down… And we wept waiting… but instead after sometime we saw something different. The eight other police vehicles arrived with about hundred and fifty armed police personnels.

The crowd again was disturbed… some of the friends tried to enter the pricipal through the main door… the police personnels stopped them… When they even tried to fonce themselves inside the police peronnels had to use their thick sticks. I was worried while rushing… if someone would fall from the pasage and fall down on the ground crushing their heads. Some moments were so terrific I was afraid if the things would turn out fatal.

When the police personnels charged the friends it even started getting voilent. In the dark… they started throwing stones in the glasses of the windows. There were big smash of crashing windows… in the incident two of our friends were fainted…santosh and Shashank. Also the DSP from the near by town who had come because of the incident was wounded on his head by a stone… he was bleeding.In the meantime, a couple of times I had stopped few of the junior brothers, stopping them from crashing windows.

Sometime later DSP himself came out for a talk. He told he would talk to us and with the pricipal in the mulipurpose hall. He assured that he felt us like brother and he wanted to help us… he also told he had known our problem. But before it he wanted all of us to be in the multi purpose hall.

We were all so tired … but still it took some time before we too decided for the talk. But to the astronishment when we all got into it… the doors were all bolted and we all were locked into it. Our friends then in anguish spoke everything to the police personnels but it was so great of them… they were totally patience to us… they didn’t speak anything. After about an hour the DSP came and told us he would bring the authority tommorow and we would then have the talk.

By the time it was about eleven in the night. We were all tired…weak and desperate of thirst and hunger. I too hadn’t had anything after the midday. So, I was feeling so weak that I also didn’t like to talk to anybody.

So, finally we were left for dinner. I was so happy to go for the food. Everybody seem so tired …exhausted … and sleepy.

When we came out we realized when they had locked us in the hall… in the school van they had sent the Principal out of the school… to the capital… Kathmandu.

Nextday though we were together but still didn’t have the strength the way we did the earlier day. While we had gathered infront of the principal’s office for the resignation the AIGP came and then aftersome time we were there for the talk in the multipurpose hall. Later the principal also came. However there weren’t any girls.After about two hours of the serious discussions about various factors the decision was in favour of us. Everything was decided as per our wish.

After a sort of struggle… we were happy. We need not give the sent up and also many of our friends went home for the study. However, Kush and me and other of our roommates decided to stay in the hostel.

Because of the incident a new Campcommandent was appointed in the school. Prakash Ojha, everybody told he was very strict… He had been in the place a couple of year back and again, he was here.

Just twenty-five days weren’t long … every morning I was almost busy with the studies … during the day, as the days were getting hotter…. Sometime just to refresh the mind I would come out in the backyard under the tree…. There were so many high terraces and so many trees all around… I always loved being there… or going around the places… in many occasions I even spent time talking to Hari… a small village boy above or six years of age that often came with the little goats to graze on the school fields….
For almost since the beginning when I had come to the place… I had heard the stories about him… but never tried to ask who he was because it did never matter to me who he was and what was… something I was so conscious and curious about him was his … little loving face… so bold and loving … which always had a beautiful smile over it.
Everybody told… he was illegitimate child of a guy who had once studied in the same school. His mother was a dumb girl from the same village. The guys had taken the opportunities of her innocence and her weaknesses. So, it was never known who his father was.
Quite many times I had seen some of the friends… even my own classmate would make fun out of him. And would tease him with his stories. I knew he was still a kid to understand the realities but once when he will become a young man… I could feel there could be frustrations and desperations that would lead his life even to the disaster.
Though sometimes some of my friends harassed him so much that he was in some sort of annoyed that he would start throwing then with anything he would find. Those moments sometime I did try to take away my friends… so somehow it did give some solution for the moment. Though I was too desperate about the matter but I though it wasn’t wise decision to make arguments with them.

To be true, I had never felt it was my duty to please or help him… or even to love him. I did it because it gave me an enormous happiness being with him… talking to him and loving him. It was true feelings for him… so there wasn’t the necessity of telling it to everyone… So, it was … always that I used to meet him in lonely. Talk to him in lonely and share his feelings…

We often had shared cookies that my sister brought for me and sometime even the sweets and biscuits that I got in the evening from the school as the night diet. I had felt… he was a kid…. And more than me he deserved it.

Moreover, he was a little boy… and was so poor to go to school. But I was amazed that he was still interested in reading and writing… So, many times I had seen him... he would let his goats to gaze … then he would sit under the tree. With sheets of papers and pieces of small pencil we had thrown as the rubbish he would collect them and use them. When I learnt this… it even brought closer to him… I gave a little money to him to buy a copy and pencils for himself. Few days later he once showed me with what he had got. That day I appreciated his sincerity.
Well, I knew he was still young to understand these all realities. However the intensity of his realities were extreme to me than himself. Perhaps it was the reason though he was never interested in anyone and in friendship but still I was always in him… and I had a greater love for him.
But still with the passage of time and of my immense interest over him… when he was lonely he would open himself in some way. Though he didn’t talk that much to me but still I was pleased he would speak out something for me … and would answer some of my questions.
So, sometimes when I would see him alone then I always walked to him and started out the talk.
Along all the time… for me he was a true idol of an innocent should and above all the true friends we became ………

As the days grew nearer I was worried about the future… and as well a sort of have depressed about missing the friends and the end of such a beautiful school life.
Something more special about the time was the girl of our class… Amru she purposed a guy who had been us in our class and took the same bench in the class for a year long. I was surprised to learn she had purposed him. Perhaps she had her own reasons for herself that she decided to surrender herself for him. I would have rather admired if she had taken care of Mahesh. It was up to her but as for my part… something that had the beginning at the place… I was leaving the story to the end before we all were moving away from each other.

From the second week of April we had the final exams… first was English… this year for the finals we had to go to the different place… it was farther then the place we had been last year… though was only about seven miles from our place.
And ahead of it… time had also changed… unlike to from seven to ten in the morning it would be from two to five in the late afternoon.
Moreover, this year we had some advantages than the last year… we were kept in the single room… So, we were fifty in each room… it was good we could get help from the friend when we needed.
Everything went okay except for the last day. The seat planning was changed… three from our school was put into a different room with other students of different school. It was a complete shock for me.
Ujjawal and me… we had differentiated our section with mathematics… I told him I would cover about sixty percent (Because of being the physical group mathematics was compulsory for me and told him to do the rest… (As he was Bio group and mathematics was only optional) I was sure we would be in the same room… so I went very thorough the sixty percent but the seat plan on the last exam just completely stunned me.
And even with the remaining two friends with me … for both it was optional… and very surprisingly they had never ever taken the mathematics class. (But we all somehow managed to pass… with the same marks.
Sometime before the exam… I had almost lost m hope… lost my nerves… in the beginning I had thought if I should give up the exam and instead try again for the chance exam in few months time.
For sometime it was in sort of doubtful situation before I finally decided to give… no matter what it happens… Before we let for our exam room… as Lava and Kush were known about my situation… they persuaded me not to lose confidence… instead asked me to it with the best I could. In someway I did manage to attempt the questions at least.
That day after our exam… everyone left for home. I also decided to leave for home that night in the night bus.

After about three weeks we came back for the practical exams. For the Bio-group there were three exams where as for us, the math group there were only two… Physics and chemistry.
Physics was quite okay. I should say I had done it good but in the chemistry exam I was so nervous I accidentally happened to break the Round Flask. The last two days before the farewell were off for us… though only for the math group… where as not for the bio exam.
During the days of practical exam… more than the studies we were usually busy playing the card games in the hostel… However we were all aware of the gurus… because we wouldn’t like to be caught. But unfortunately a pack of plastic card that I had bought from home had already been caught.
The last day on the school… there was a group that gambled till the midnight… This couldn’t give any way for me to sleep. So, at the middle of the night I woke up and gambled till the five in the morning. Through the night with only twenty rupees I had made a big deal… it wad more than five hundred. It was only after the light I went to sleep… It was about nine in the morning when I woke up.
Today was the last day… last day of the school life…. I was some how excited about the future but yet I wasn’t happy leaving the school… l life in it… the beautiful life in there… such beautiful life in there… such beautiful friends like Kush and Lava and so many of the other old mates. Because I always tried to understand the realities of life… the amusements… anxiety that it brings to us… that are only the momentary possessions that gives the delightful fragrance for short and lives us with the mark to remain it forever.
So… many thoughts that went over me… so many stories that has been created at the place I was to leave it at the place… This was something that would always keep me alive with the memories of my school.
Hadn’t I learnt so many things in the place? I had learnt the place… I had learnt the nature… the people and the friends. These are all the things that make difference in life… Not only this… how can I ever forget the little boy Hari… the little innocent face of the kid… his friendly face… on which I had always seen the true sign of innocence.
So many stories has been created… was I to wipe them all with the passage of time… Perhaps not…. I was sure…. I would treasure it forever.

That morning after the practical exam soon everyone was back to hostel. The ones that arrived earlier told us to get ready in the school uniform and be in the multipurpose Hall for the fare well program. I hadn’t had the enough sleep through the night so I was some sort of feeling dizzy. With some sort of laziness I had to put over my dresses. Unfortunately I had lost the tie… perhaps one of the friend should have taken it… so, I borrowed it from a friend Santosh Thapa, an old high school friend who had now been in the junior class.
After about an hour… the show was inaugurated by the AIGP (Assistant Inspector general of Police) Pradip Shamsher. In addition all the school teachers were also present. We were so surprised to see the new principal of the school, Hemanta Rana.
Then there was the speech from the both… principal and the distinguished guest, AIGP. From the students Laxman and Santosh gave the speeches. It was a sort of natural speech and there wasn’t any conflicting matter that anybody talked about. After the speeches… we were asked to be in a line… then in a line we walked to the distinguished guest. A man next to him was with the chunk of garlands on his hands. As we walked to him… he took a garland from the hand of a man and put it over us… then tika on our forehead… (For the good luck). Along with it each of us were given a blue little diary and a pen… later… just after sometime… it came into use… we used it to take the autographs of friends and teachers.
After, the party was commenced. Just closer to the door everything was made ready for us… It was really a big party and I did have the most with that I could I should say more than full. After the party guru told us to get our things ready. There were two buses to take our things. This time I couldn’t go with Kush because I had decided to go with the old friends…, as it would be easier for me to go together with them through the journey. However Janak was still there.
But before we left… I felt so lucky… Hari… the little boy had finally managed to come to us to see us. I place my garland over him. For one more time I looked deep and steady into his face… and told him… I would not forget the promises that I have made with him… Someday if the time proves to be real I would be back to see him… though perhaps success or failure… it wouldn’t be matter… but at least someday I will again come back to the place for once… and it would be for no other reason… except seeing him. With these words from my eyes… he too was looking straight at me… perhaps he somehow got the meaning though he was still too young to understand the realities. However I was still sure… More than any one else… the kid of his age… I believed he would understand and feel more than many of the rest.
The time… it was short… most of the friends seemed to be streaming down from the hostel with their bag packs and luggage. So, I too had to hurry for it. Sometime later, I too came out from the hostel taking out my stuffs and luggage… Finally once again I looked back at the hostel. I was leaving it forever. Though someday perhaps I would come to see it again but still the life in the place… it was over… it was never to come back.
Once again everything of the past rolled over my brain. I remembered how I had calculated my time in the beginning. Two years time it seemed longer… but making some calculations… and changing them to only seven hundred and twenty days… it had given me some sort of confidence. To persuade myself even I had thought… nine years of time didn’t seem long… how would only seven hundred days be long… Finally I had concluded I would do it in some way. And today came the day I had to leave.
Janak, the roommate was with me. After we kept our luggage on the room of the bus and some of ourselves… now we had realized that soon we were to leave… Suddenly looking out from the window… Hari was still there… he was somehow smiling to us… Perhaps he should have been wishing us for a good journey.
Soon when the bus was full and the Sacre guru arrived he told the driver to make the moves…
With these words even my heart beat had some misalignments in it’s regularities… because my feelings were so intense and heaved… as the bus slowly moved out of the school I kept watching it out until it vanished it from my sights.
That night we got to the valley and stayed there for a night.
Next day early morning in the bus we left for the hometown.

A year later after my school I was so fortunate, with the help of a Dutch friend, I could get a scholarship for my studies in Engineering. It was a sort of unbelievable surprise for me. I feel necessity in including her mail.
From: “Irene Vlig”
Subject: Scholarship
Date: Thu, 23 Mar 2000 21.47:50+0100
Dear Yubraj,
How are you doing for today, hopefully you and the family are fine! Did you receive my first email? In answering on your letter I send you this mail. I understand about the 2 engineering universities in Nepal, Katmandu and Pokhara. Actually their program is looking fine, I think. Pokhara is most modern with good facilities. And also in Pokhara they do have more seat numbers a year. Do you think there is a waiting list to be admitted to these universities or it is easy to be admitted as a student of these universities? The only thing I don’t understand from the brochure of the Pokhara University: What is the duration of the course? Also 4 years?
I am trying to do my best at the moment to find a supporting organization in Holland to pay your scholarship I think it is possible to find one, but I need to make a report about the yearly cost /fee of this scholarship. In the brochure of pokhara engineering college they are talking about Security deposit (refundable) of 20,000 rupies. Do you understand what it means? Do you need to pay every year 20,000 rupies security deposit or only 1 time? And they are talking it is ‘refundable’, does it mean, at the end of the course the college will refund this money? Please if you know sent me the answer of these questions, so I can make an exactly report of the cost.
If you like to start the next semester it will be in August, isn’t it? When do you need to report yourself for the next semester?
Finally, Yubraj I think it is possible to find a supporting organization but it is not yet sure. Please send me your ideas about these questions as soon as possible!
Your friend Irene

From: “Irene Vlig”
Subject: god news!!!
Date: Mon, 10 Apr 2000 18.28:19+0200
Dear Yubraj

Thank you for your email of April 7.
I do have good news for you… You do have a scholarship!!
I have found an organization in Holland who can support your scholarship for the next 4 years. I am very glad for you.
They permit you to register yourself for the Pokhara Engineering College or Kathmandu University coming semester. The only thing you need to understand this scholarship will be only for the University fees and not for living. So, if you need to go to Kathmandu you have to find a way for living yourself.
At the moment they can pay the yearly fee and the security deposit but for the monthly fee they need to find more support. Nowadays we are busy to arrange the financial side of your scholarship with SNV-Nepal. The name of the organization in Holland who will support you is: Stitching Nepal. They are working in co-operation with SNV-Nepal. SNV-Nepal will arrange your agreement and will pay the scholarship yearly and monthly.
Later I will tell you more about this. So, please start to register yourself at Pokhara Engineering College and Kathmandu University. If you do have any questions please let me know, OK?
Dear Yubraj, I think you will feel happy about this, and I am also very happy for you. I wish you will have wonderful time as a student at the engineering college so hopefully they allow you to entry the new semester!
Write you as soon I know more….
Bye, Bye and many greetings to all my friends!
Your Friend

Now, I am almost twenty-four years with my age… and it has almost been five years since my school had been over. As I write down all these stories, the realities come hurling through my brain as they has just been yesterday. I wonder with the beautiful past… the great childhood days… after all they gave the perfect bliss to me. I wonder with the nature… the world… the universe… the creation… and the people.

And also it has not been less than three long years since I had started writing this novel during my leisure. There were many stories I felt it hadn’t space in it. I have tried to explain little things and little realities more than enclosing ever of the events and incidences. Due to my intense feelings, I might have had explained my emotions… thoughts and feelings… as I felt I couldn’t avoid them… After all they were my true treasures.

Someday will it come out as a book? Will I have any readers to read it? Yet I am not sure of it. The only success to me for writing all this is… if I could help anyone understand something that I wanted to mean… That would still mean a great deal to satisfy me.
As… soon I am to finish with my studies… the real journey of life is yet to begin. Perhaps this was only a start to lead me a way to create something… an art of writing… On the days to come with time I wish I will try for the better… better stories… that perhaps with the truth and real meaning.
Above all… there is still something I still dream of.
There is yet the accomplishment of the dream that my friend has unfolded over my hands… after all… all worth of my dreams… future and career they are meant for something more… Perhaps could be for more than me… myself too. She hasn’t only shown me the way… instead she has given me a beautiful way to walk through. With so much of promises within myself I wish to walk bold through it.

It has now leaded to the beginning.
Beginning of a real new story…