Part VI

After the winter vacation, I was again back to school in the late afternoon. Mother had come along with me to the school. After having checked my bag, and noting my name on the register, I went to the store to get the books… They gave me all of it, which was a huge chunk that I had to carry with two hands over my chest.

The class had already started …but I decided not to go that day. Now in the hostel… we were given different room… there were two different small rooms for us … Most of them in one … the very new one built on the place on the half of the space on the top floor where we often used to watch television and movies. After the room was built it was never again a place for television show again.

A new hostel was almost finished after the construction, it was on the right of the main. We were told it would soon be finished and we were to move in the new hostel. That late afternoon after the tea… as most of my friend did for the play I came into the class with all my new books and copies. It was a different room … it was in the middle of the tree room on the upper floor. They had individual desks and they were bigger… So, the drawers it had were also bigger than that we ever had. That was ever the best thing about it.

The next day with all my friends I was back in the class. As always I took the first desk on the left. I was lucky I could have the big window on the left … from where I would have the wind… see the mountain and beautiful scenario and sometime think about my home and my family that were beyond several hills far away from the place.

The same day Rabindra came and he took the place next to me. He had always been so good… and I was very happy finding him next to me… he was some one who had almost the same feeling the way I had… who had also known me from closer as he had once he been my best friend. I didn’t know how the things changed but for me … he was one of those the very best ones I ever met.

In about a week, I learnt we were thirty one in total… Kumar sir, the history and geography teacher became our class teacher. History became my favorite subject … I would be completely dazed over his stories when he would explain every little part of the history in brief. I would be so consumed by his voice … it would be like the movie show where I remained astarring at him… but completely absorbed in the imagination wityh all that he had been talking about. It was the best subject to me.

A week later, the elders brothers came came to school.
In the evening, there was a fare well program… there wasn’t much… in the opera hall we were all called to attain it… then a choir of a bunch of boys came and sang the same song that they had sung for the other brothers during the farewell for them…

“Tadha Tadha Janu chha sati … ek fera hashi dau
Chu ti sake ko mayalai sathi ek phera gaasi dau……
……………………………………………………..
……………………………………………………..

There was no other progams… teachers, students and the brothers they came up on the stages and delivered the speechs and poems about depating love … school teachers and so on. Next early morning after the breakfast… they left on the school bus for the central school to continue their studies for the remaining standards eight, nine and ten.

Now we became the seniors of the school. It was a different feeling because … in many cases we were the ones who would be benefited the most. We greatly had the strength …only place where we would fall last was for the dinning… Being senior of the school we were always the one who would be the last one to for breakfast lunch, tea in the late afternoon and the dinner. Also for the TV shows and movie shows.. we would also be the last ones .

But there was something goood of being last… we usually need not come in line… that was something I liked. Ever day we would wait until everyone would be gone… So, when we would for for the dinner there would be only few that would remain there. Even all the tables in dinning looked messy and everything grew cold … but it would be more silent and we could take enough time … so, it was beautiful thing about being late.

Just as every year houses were made… Nilgiri, Dhaulagiri, Machhapuchre and Annapurna I was in Machhapuchre house. Since then the houses were never changed, it remained the same till the end of our schooldays. Giriraj was our house captain… he was more to games and sports so he dealt more with it… Being the senior of school I got advantage, I could deal with all the acedemic affairs like… quizes… spelling contests… debates… and other competitions regarding the educational affairs. Moereover I could decide for the participants for it from our house. That was still a marvelous favour.

Our TV show became routinized. Every Friday eve after the supper, we had the Indian horror shows, the serial in star TV that lasted for only thirty minutes. Started at quarter to ten. Sometime it was so thrilling I wouldn’t watch it even when we were hundred in the group to watch it. It was so scary that sometime it was not only that I couldn’t look at the screen… I couldn’t even hear the sound.

Soon, it became a sort of way that every time, after the horror show I would never get into sleep through the night… next day was the Saturday and we could sleep till late, so it didn’t become much problem…

Saturday, in the afternoon… we could also watch the telivision. On that day the national broadcast use to give a Hindi movie at two that ended at about five. So we used to watch it every Saturday. This became a sort of tradition of how we used to get through our leisure in the Saturdays. It continued till the end of the high school.

But horror movie show didn’t last longer… the teachers banned it because they thought it was suitable for us as it seemed more vulger. Instead they put on the national broadcast that day.
Apart from this… on religious or other holidays when we had no classes we could watch television in the opera. But everything would stop about two weeks before the exams… and we had to wait until the exams were over.

About a month later, our new hostel was ready and we moved into it… the room had larger iron bed rather than the wooden ones… and also had few flurosecnt lights rather than the filament bulbs… So after the dinner, it was bright enough to read or do something of similar kind. We also had three new latrines infront of our hotel. It was only for us…. The seniors … no other junior’s brothers could use it. When it was for only us… it remained cleaner… and using it … we could no for use the others that we had been using for several years. Now they looked dirtier… though in reality they hadn’t changed.

In hostel Nepali teacher, Guru became our hostel teacher. With new hostel… and better merits for us… rather than any one in the school we were more encouraged to do something… on the left the was the little lawn… of our new hostel building… But it was covered with the concrete layer as it mad been the place for mixture making, for the large hostel building. We almost worked for about a week all time duing the game time …after the tea in the late afternoon. We even broke or separate the heavy concrete layers from the ground then carried the soil over it and made a small flower garden for us… Yeah our work didn’t go in vain… Few months later… even roses bloomed out of it.

This year additional subject was added to our courses. It would teach us who to make things. Guru taught us the subject. We were so influenced with it… after our classes we would gather at the backyard of the hostel and we would dig out the mud. Then we would refine it …seperating the stones and gravels out of it and then mixing it with the water. Then from it … we made the statues… of Hindu god and godess. We did try with many… I made a little Buddha… meditating. But it hadn’t the face… Santosh made a better one… Ganesh, it was absolutely a perfect figure. When they were dried, we carried it to our hostel room and at the corner we made a prayering place… Every morning we would lit the fire…on the tray…a mud tray made by Nawaraj… with the mustard oil that we got from the kitchen to use as the hail oil. It world all untill we went off for the summer vacation… when we returned the statues were missing… Perhaps the uncles should have thrown them away.

In shivaratri I came home. This was for the special purpose. In Hindu religion, for two castes Brahman and Chetries … Bartamanda is necessary. It is a sort of ceremony where a priest teaches the Brahman boys some Mantras and also gives them the holy thread… which the brahmans wear all their lives… though they replace with the new ones sometime in every suitable holy occasions. The thing that having no bartamanda might restrict is that the Brahman would never be allowed to give fire during the furenal possessions. He had to have it at any cost… didn’t matter even if it was just before the furnal.

In my locality, mother had already made all the arrangements for it… my brother and me… with few other young boys in the neighbourhood were also to have bartamanda together… It wasn’t so typical as it used tio be… in formal and typical way, for the bartamanda… one would bald the head, have special costume worn on that day which covered only underneath unreveilable parts.
But it wasn’t the sort for us… it was done in easier way…

After we reached there, sometime later, the priest started having puja… making a small fire place infront of him… we were all opposite to him facing to him. He started reading the holy books and we had to pour the home made butter in the fire …once in some time to keep the fire woods burning. There were few other things that we did in accordance to him.

It took about three hours before we were handedover the holy thread that we were supposed to wear for the lifetime and were also given holy words “mantras” that we had to spell it every day. The priest handed me the paper with matras, which I gave to my brother the same instant. After the ceremony, we came back home… I couldn’t keep the thread wearing… so I took it off the same day. About mantras I never seeked it from my brother again.

Yeah… I had done …what the community wanted. So, they have no restriction for the future but now it was to me with what I do with myself… And I decided I woudn’t take it along with me. For sometime… mother did aware me about the thread, to influence me she even told I would look better with the thread on my body… I awlays did listen to her …but still kept ignoring … so she finally realsied I was never to keep it … so she never talked about it later.

I was lucky I hadn’t been regiously pressured by my parent… especially the mother. She would just let us take our way… that was the greatest thing I always felt about the mother… it was true she was always more than a mother… more than a human. Something beyond that…

It was the middle of spring, we went to river for swimming. Guru, our hostel teacher would sometime take us to the river. Accidently, we almost lost our friend kushal. He wasn’t known to swimming and water current had taken him to the depth. If Jipendra had seen him and rescued, there could have been the disaster. After the event… we still could come out to the river sometime. But since then we were more alert.

In about a month we were to have the first term… It was almost five years later, a sort of thin linning of friendship grew between narjan,the first guy of the class and me… Even studying in the same class… sharing the same room in the hostel and diniing hall… he hadn’t talk to me for the last five years which some time surprises me. He was better with so many things so, I was always ready to be his friend… but for me … he always wanted to avoid me, instead sometime would humiliate me even for my grace. I never acted against him… though usually he would always be against me …even after all this I always wished for his company.

Few things that changed… I could sometime use his notes… Those days it was enormous favour of him. But after highschool everything overturned. We, only the two of us …became the most frequent seeing friends. We became the only ones… that kept writing letters and mails for years after it. Rest of the others never came in touch the way we were.

This year again we had the new english teacher, D.N. Pradhan. He was from Darjeeling, India.Well, he was a small guy… but stonger accent and loud and grave voice made him some how strict. He taught us two subjects … Guided English and Moral Science. One late after noon during the moral science he decided to take us for a walk in the jungle right infrom of our school.
As no other teachers had ever thought about it, we were delighted when he decided to take us for a walk… it was already cloudy but still we set off for a walk.

It’s always a very different feeling when you happen to leave a place, totally isolated where you have been made to live for long time. Every few paces outdoor from the entrace would cherish and brightened your heart. Well then walking over dry grasses and bushes, trees …we were so absorbed … we came closer to the edge of the hill… about hundred meters below it was the flat land… with a river flowing over it. It had a beautiful scenerio.

Suddenly the water drops started pouring down from the black clouds that had covered the sky… and in no time it strarted raining. Soon we started … we took the short route… through the fence. There was a small house for the police personnels still underconstruction. We tried to make a place for the shade from the rain… and we did stay there until the rain slowered… But it hadn’t worked well… we were all in school uniforms and we were all wet. … It was a great day …but we were never again taken away from the in the similar manner.

DN Pradhan, he somehow tried to bring some changes and also wanted to get closer to students… this was something I liked about him. In the first term he gave us the important questions in the moral science. One eveing after the evening class I was called to the office. I was surprised when I was called alone inside the teachers and staff’s room. There were two teachers, Janak, the principal and Kaji sir, the viceprincipal of the school.

The only thing they asked to me was about the teacher, DN Pradhan. I told him he was good and we could understand his way… There was something I also told about him… I told them that he had given all the important questions…(which I realised I should have never told). DN Pradhan, he wasn’t so specific to anyone however, there were few times he did give me favours… it usually happened for the programs …and specially for singing. I would also be the one whom he would never miss to take from the class if he was taking one of us. And ssomething even more than this… he loved having chess matches with me. I was so better than him… He would sometime make his time coming to our hostel and we could go for the match. He desperately played with as many games with he could… but usually not even one on his favour. But later things drastically changed… and he improved so much, when we played so many… it was usually fifty-fifty.

Soon I realised about my mistake… I realised I shouldn’t have told every truth to the other teachers. I confessed for it and too wanted to say sorry to him but I could never gather enough courage to go to him for it. Since then, he did looked at me indifferently the way he came acroos but… in the occasions when we had too sing… he still called my name. I was so greatly thankful for him. He was the real person… I thought.

Soon we had the first term… and this time I even made the better stride. I became the second in the class.

Back to school after vacation, there were quite few opportunities that came up to me.

In the first month, teachers decided to start news reading program. Out of the six days in a week. Sunday, as usual was became the checking day. The class teacher would see out teeth, nails… hair, vest, socks and so on. From Monday to Thursdays we students were given the turn to read news… where as on Friday it became the teachers turn.

For the students different groups were formed. They were named as Reuter, BBC, RSS… For these different groups different leaders, so called editors were made. Luckly I was appointed one of them… the editor of BBC. There were about ten members in each group and it included students from three most senior classes.

For the BBC, I myself became the new reader for Nepali. I was accompained by Prajwol my classmate… as he would read the new in english. Everyday, we had to collect news… intially we were allowed tro watch the news form national broadcast in television… but later we were only awarded the newpapers. Since then the fashion continued.

Meanwhile, during a cultural program I was so influenced with the music… seeing how people played harmonium especially the teachers. One day I went to Kumar sir… and I asked him… if he would teach me to play harmonium. He would never say no… So, during the game time, instead of playing football, I went to his room (as he had taken a room in the junior hostel and he was their hostel teacher)… and he would play me a new song from his song book once in every few day. Then when he left alone I tried to figure what he had played. It became the last days for the football… having matches betwwen all the classmates… Though a year later... we formed a different team… but it was for only the time being.

Soon some one accompained me… “Muna miss” she was junior students teacher. We became the music students for sometime though she didn’t continue it for longer...

In Ganai Purnima, one of those religious festival I was back home for few days. On the day we were told a serious incident. One of my sister’s bestfriend had made an attempt for the sucide. She had taken the pesticide meant for the vegetable… she had drank it all… and it was sometime later her brothers found her unconcious.

The reason for this was she had been in affair with a boy. And the boy was a stranger…and didn’t belong to the right caste to marry. Everything was secret …until the aunt discovered and told to her dad. When he knew she had locked her in her room where she had made the attempt.
These sorts of incidences weren’t uncommon in these communities. Most of the cases when there was an affair the most reasonable way for the success was to run away and live together for few days or a week at least. Because of the fear I had even heard the stories, the couple in affair had jumped in the lake and killed themselves… some had even jumped into the fall and killed themselves. There were often strange stories that occurred but soon forgotten.

But for her… when she was taken to the hospital… it was already too late… but to her great fortunate she could speak her last words to her man who had come in the hospital for his own reason. Few years after her death I was told the guy was married.

It was about two weeks later, on the rainy late afternoon when we were in the hostel some body came to call us Narjan, Kushal and me. It was in the kumar sir room… the same Kumar sir’s room where I used to learn harmonium. In additon to the two other teachers living there, there were also Kaji sir and Janak sir.

Even before we had arrived there were Rajendra and Suraj… they were the top students of the sixth grade. There kaji sir informed us the opportunity for the interschool quiz contest in about a week time. Fortunately, I was alos selected for it. Next day we were handed different books… a copy and a pen. Eventhough I was very much encouraged and willing I didn’t turn fornunate. I suffered from bad cold… then again also had the fever. So, in no way I was able to study so good.
On the main day, after the lunch carrying five of us we headed up to the valley inour own school bus. Kaji sir went along with us. Still I wasn’t feeling so well though I had some how recovered a little. So, I didn’t go on the stage… I was with the audience watching the show.

The match was the first round for us. There were several schools that had participated for the contest. If we could win the contest then we would go to semifinals. It was a good beginning… and it went well as we became the leading team… but when the final round came …it was about the shows and music… we couldn’t make a point even with one and in total we lost. It was desperation but there was no other way to take it.

One morning … in the assembly the teachers came with the certificates… there were only four. Though I hadn’t attended, I had it… Initially the teachers had decided me as the members not as extra… so, I was given the certificate of participation instead for the Suraj who had really participated in the field.

After the few days of the arrival, Bishnu had become the closer mate. When I talk about closer mate… it is some sort of isolation from the rest of the group…because, usually only the closer mates would be together in the leisure.

When the monsoon come closer to the end… the guaves would fully grow and would start turning yellow to ripe and be ready. There were so many guava trees around the principals living place… we would always see them how they fully grow every year but except once it never happened that they had ever given.

When we learnt of this… then we had to sort out a way… it was impossible to go out to the place because it was restricted and if the teachers would find us… there was no doubt they would severely punish us. So, once I heard boys used to go in the dark when there was no power. Every Monday and Wednesday there was the regular power cut for about three hours… In the evening, the dinning would be busy…. One day we most of all from the class… including the school captain decide to go stealing guavas…

We together ahd slowly slipped towards the place… suddenly the intense tourch was beamed towards us from the junior hostel… in a wispher… some of them murmered “Lay down …lay down on the ground”. Immediately we all did it … the beam passed over us… but the hostel teachers perhaps didn’t get us.

After then nothing obstucted us… in the pitch dark night everone made there way to different trees… we couldn’t see … the only way was to feel it and take if off. There were so many trees and we climbed from one to another and kept going through the remaining before we finally decided to return.

Once when we were in the trees… we could still see teachers running the flashlight across the field but we just kept ignoring. Later from my friends I heard that some of them had even thrown the hard and unripe guavas into the principal’s room, and had frightened his wife. About a week later… I again made the attempt with Rajendra, the class… it didn’t prove so good. There was again an attempt later on Wednesday eve… And this day I made it alone… This time I was a sort of well prepared, I had put on dark cloths…(Not white) and silently walked to the fartherest corner… there I didn’t get much… but moving a little ahead on the next… I slowly climbed on it. It was a small tree… perhaps so should be why many, who had made the attepts like me should have ignored it. But just climbling on it … for the instant it almost made me mad… everywhere… I put my had I could find something… soon all my pockets were full… I couldn’t satisfy and I didn’t want to miss the opportunity... for the moment I though before I decide to put it into my t-shirt in the front. So, slowly fist I put the t-shirt inside my pants… so they could hold the weight of the guavas from letting them fall off.

Things went when I had though… I took all that lied closer to me that slowly made my paces back to hostel… I was frightened if I would be caught because it would be so embarassing the teachers would find me with so many guavas that I had stolen… As I grew closer to the hostel… the worries grew moreand more… but as I came acroos the dinning hall…slowly it went down. As I came to hostel… my friend Bishnu had been waiting for me. He was happy seeing me back… I asked him to keep all that I had brought. He kept them all and it lasted for several days. I was glad about my success and soon I couldn’t give up for another attempt. The next time when I went… I again did it alone in the day when the power went off… reaching to the tree… I climbed higher the most possible… But unfortunately… there weren’t as I had hoped… While returing back… Something terrified me in the dark… I could hear the Principal’s voice very close. He was shouting at some of the others… seemed like the junior boys… In anger the was throwing the guavas on to them…

Knowing this my heart went up… slowly I creeped aways from them… as I reached a bit futher… the teachers from the hostel flashed the strong beam of light over the ground …unfortunately they saw me …as I ran… it followed me… in fear and anger… I was terrified…as I ran… Suddenly, the light passed ahead of me. That moment I didn’t let the oppurtunity run… So, immediately I layed flat over the gound… For a couple of times… the teachers made search with their lights that ran over me … but later they gave up and I safely returned to hostel. I didn’t dare to make another attempt again until the next year.

One late evening after our meal in the evening we were in our bed busy in our own way. Most of them doing there things… there two teachers Kaji sir and som sir, his roommate both had also been in our hostel busy talking to boys to the farthest corner from our side.

I was in my bed busy with in my own… suddenly some of our friends started running away from the gathering … from there they came towards us… Seeing them running initially I didn’t understand anything … but soon I saw Yogendra was behind all of them…

Fear if something strange could happen, I too joined the group and started running around the edge of the room around the cots. Even teachers they were terrified, they were also unable to do any thing to yogen… He was trembling… his voice… he was murmmering… everybody thought some spirit had caught him…

Before the situtation got worse finally it was one of the mate, Jipendra who dared to hold him… he was a big guy and was strong and confident. After he grabbed him for sometime… Yogen lost his strength and he layed on the floor. He was then taken to the Guru’s room which had also door annexed to one side of our room.

Some told he had some special ‘Jantar’ from the Lama, for some special spiritual treatment worn like the necklace around the neck. That day he hadn’t kept it so many thought it was because of its absence… So, some of them got the key from him and hurriedly opened his box… took the Jantar and the Guru put it back around his neck… It was after then everyone felt conforted even the teachers.

Later from the friends I learnt that earlier Yogen had strangely behaved to the teachers. He almost had hit the kaji sir in the arguments with them. They told even Kaji seemed a sort of frightened with his behaviour.

Some time it is strange about how we spent our leisure… some time in the Saturdays after the lunch we asked for the sterio with the Guru… few times he did favour getting it for us… Then we would all gather at one corner in the hostel and play the music… some of our friends would then come forward and show the dances in different hindi movie songs… Everyone seemed to be so absorbed with it… for me I wasn’t much known to dances so, I really never got the real thing out of it.

Other time when we were in the leisure we would go out to play… football… game ball or some thing of similar sorts. Sometimes we couldn’t go for it … lets say perhaps of rain… then most of the time we would all be in the hostel doing something… May be playing some indoor games… chess… ludo… carem or perhaps reading story books… comics or movie magazines (Nepali or hindhi) but least was known about hollywood.

Sometime in the evening when the power went out … there would be nothing to do… Then we would come out at the backyard of our hostel… we would bring something to sleep over… We would form our own groups… two …three… four …five and sometimes even more… we would talk our things… perhaps about a movies or tell stories… There were several eveings when we came in the backward… Laying our bed sheets we slept over it looking the stars and in the greatest intensity of the fullmoon night we happy engrossed our time… so beautifully … We had so much to tell and talk… we could easily spent hours for it. Unless we really realised we had to go to bed.

Sometime when we were together then we would make ourselves into two teams then would play a sort of game… a singing game… When one started a song… then had to come with a different song that initiates from the final letter of sang song… But the song had to be known at least for few.

The most common thing was … we would all gather around a bed… then our talk would start with a things and when it ended it would come out through several different routes… it would have no relation with the subject about which we initiated the talk. During these sorts of talk … we often planned the things to do it together by all the class members and we often did it.

It was the last week of October, on Saturday the teachers deicded to take us to ‘Chabdi Barah’ it was a religious place … about twenty five miles east from the school. The last four miles there was no other way we had to walk.

After our lunch … before the noon, we left the place. DN Pradhan and Kumar sir had decided to go with us… School bus took us to most of the way… but before we even had crossed a very long bridge to reach the little town, the tyre of the bus punctured and we had to wait some time for.
Reaching the valley, the bus left and teachers they asked us to be in line… we weren’t only the class they had taken… the junior brothers, just a standard junior than us had also been with us.
In the beginning the teachers were concious of breaking the lines … so sometime they would speak our name if we walked to far of if we broke the line and formed a sort of group. But as we walked… who had faster strides would be ahead and the ones who moved slowly… there were no one to jerk them except the teachers who would bug them all the way asking them to move faster.

Something I knew was… we would feel more libral if we could suceed getting away from the teachers eyes… so, even not being a very big guy, I faster strides and soon disappered from the teachers sight. Prajol, Rabindra and me, with even less than an hour we left many behind and walked away. We became so far … no more we had to be in line … to leave them even farther, when we came at the corner we some time even ran…

The way was big …but most of it was dusty where as some part were muddy because of the often rain in the monsoon. There weren’t many houses… but there were many trees …especially oranges and mangoes…. Sometime when we came across them… we would look around …see if there were any people or houses near by … if there were we would just walk away if not then we would look for some stones to strike the fruits…

There were many orange trees but the fruits they were very small so we didn’t waste our time on them… but we came across some mango trees… and we didn’t let the opportunity ruin. We did make sereval attemps… but the trees they were too big and they didn’t have many fruits… they had few and only on the top, which seemed almost impossible from the down. It wasn’t difficult waking the way… because we just walked the main way it was bigger than the other sub ways.

Reaching there, we had to wait for some time before everybody arrived. We had reached at the gate of the temple …but the door was closed… there was a river flowing on the left …so on the next side was the temple… the gate led to the bridge which would then lead to the main entrance of the temple.

Since the door was locked, from the people we learnt the priest of the temple had the key and they two should where he lived… there was a small hill on the left next to the river…and he lived on the top… Few of us we deicded to go… reaching his home … we told we were the students of this and this school and would like to see the temple. He was proud, knowing that we had come from some distant to see the temple. Finally he decided to go with us.

On the way he told the legend about the temple… he told how the fishes valued at that place. Even fishing around the riverside was strictly restricted… so were there so many small and big fish all around the temple even in that little river.

He also told … there were some special fish inside the temple who were reguarded as god… when they died special ceremony used to be performed alike that of the funeral of the humans… which totally amazed us.

Getting inside the temple I was shocked seeeing the fish… for sometime I even din’t like to blink them… at the corner …there was a small square pond of about three meters each side and about only one and half meter deep. And fish there they were about four ordinary fishes should have weighted more than ten kilos and few eels which were embeded at the ocrner holes, motionless looked more like the thick black roots of the big trees. It was all amagzing.

The priest there told … the fishes would be active during pujas… when people came with goats and they were sacrificed there… The fishes would come out for blood… Listening to it … it was some sort of horror to me.

Next thing that astronised me … was the visit of several kings since the beginning of two centuries… there were few marks or relics and writings they had left on the wall… about the dates of their visits.

Returning back I decided not to rush. Slowly we talked and came the way… Kumar sir and Giri raj were the ones I had been with. Though it wasn’t me who talked more but I became more intrested in what they talked.

Walking all the way back… it was only before sunset we arrived to the little town from where we had walked down. We kept waiting for the schoolbus but it didn’t come even when it started getting dark…

For some sort of security we were all taken to the District Police Office. Waiting for more didn’t see to work so… teachers made us two groups and told us to get back to school in the local bus. Just some moments later after we had climed into the bus…. The front screen of the bus exploded… and the glasses turned into pieces… the bus stopped and for sometime every one was curious and frigntened… but everything got into it’s place when the driver assured of no problem and there was nothing to worry. He told it was just and accidental breaking. Tired and exhausted, at about eight in the evening we reached the school.


Days after days… time came …we had the second term. I again got a good result. I became second in the class again.

After vacation when we were back… we all decided for something… There was a Judo teacher in the school… We thought why would we ask him to teach us some marshal arts after our PT. It was a good effort, and he didn’t ignore our request. We were all so interested… we tried to use the time very carefully… We made everything up… the regular running then PT… then with the remaing time… we took the lessons of Judo. We had hoped for continuity and it lasted for about a week, before teachers finally resticted it. They told when we learnt this, we would start breaking chairs …window planes and electric switches.

It didn’t take long before we had the final exam. After the finals we became excited about the tour. It was to Lumbini, the birthplace of Buddha.

After our exam, our waiting ended. It was our own mate Deepak’s bus that was supposed to take us for the tour. It was a new night bus for the long hours ride in the highways. On the days for leaving … early morning, we were offered heavy breakfast… haluwa, egg and tea… which wasn’t our usual diet. It was interesting.

Earlier I had already talked to Daksha, he assured me for many things… He told he would help me get a better seat in the bus, as he was the captain and would also give me chances with the walkman to hear music… and also would make some of my pictures. On the day… as he told… he did find a place for both of us… he lent me the side closer to window where as he took the next seat next to me.

With joy and excitement we left the school in joy. Though it was for two days and the next eve we were to return back to school. Kumar sir, Som sir and Janak Sir decided to go with us. With us, I mean… me and Daksha we hadn’t taken much, few tapes, a small sterio, a camera… few apples and a bag all belonging to him…

After about an hour’s slow ride we came to the Pokhara Valley…From there we were to take the next highway which had several twists and turns. To assure myself from highway sickness I decided to take the medicine for it… It was to avoid vomit… But soon after we started of from the valley driving through so many turning… I started to feel bad… everything that I had taken came out back the right way… with the jerk… it came of from my mouth, as I took off my head from the window… the jerk and thrush gave a severe pain that brought tears in my eyes… It happened once… and since then I decided not to take anything.

This made me feel sick and tired… and soon I went for the sleep. Daksha he didn’t tell me anything… When I woke up… we had already come through a long distance. After the sleep I felt a sort of relief… it game me some confidence that I would turn well and things wouldn’t go worse than this.

It was a sinny day and sun was already high up in the sky… since it was almost the midst in the winter… Everything had already turned grey… all the hills and the glassland… the cold winter and no rain for several weeks had made the trees look so skiny with only few leaves on them… the road was so dustly… The extreme dust had made the plants and bushes on both side of the road covered white with the dust… the rivers that sometime came out in sight were low with no enough water.

After sometime the bus stopped in the small market like place. It was time for the lunch. We were offered the chicken soup in addition to rice, lentils and vegetable. I was feeling weak, so had thought to take a lot… but I again feared if everything would come back again so… I again decided not to take more. So, I soon finished the meal and came back in the bus. Where as Daskha, he was lsow and heavy eater, so I left him with the others.

About an hour later we again started with the journey. This time I didn’t feel to sleep… instead I looked around from the little window… it was interesting with the beautiful sceneries. Hills rivesides and with trees and forest …and in the midst lived people with their lonely houses. It was late in the afternoon we came to the small town…Tansen. Strange enough, it was on the top of the hill. From the high way there were narrow roadways… that leaded us to the flat surface… this was the main area.

From there we decided to move above…from where we copuld see all over the little city. It was a sort of steep hill about hundred meters… the place was all covered with Pine trees… they were not only many… they were the only ones around… We stayed there for some time before we came back again… From there we visited some historical places and temples… they had there own legends and we were always curious about them… Soon walking through the narrow steets we came back to the place… Then we headed to our destination… Butwal then Bhairahawa
While driving to the place it was soon dark… I didn’t realise when I had been to sleep. When I woke up friends were talking we had arrived in Butwal… I could only see the light bulbs … nothing else.

It was about eight in the evening we arrived in Bhairahawa. The teachers located a hotel for us… There were two as one couldn’t be enough for all of us… Our hotel it was a fine place … there was a large corridor in between and the rooms for the guest were on both the opposite sides.
Four of us were given a room with two beds. Rochan and Chandra decided to stay with Daksha and me.

That evening we were hungry but it was suppose to take some time for the dinner so we had to wait. Few of us we decided go to the kitchen, surprisingly we were shocked to see the school principal Janak he was there in the small dining place …next to the kitchen with beer and chicken …he was alone. Later there had been some scandal about him, there were two women that had been through out the journey with us till the place. It was a rumor they were prostitutes and that night even the principal didn’t miss his chances taking them.

After the menal…for some while we walked out in the streets… most of the houses were closed were as some were still open. Teachers didn’t allow us to stay outside for longer so were we back to the room. Next morning after the tea, we headed to Lumbini.

Day it wasn’t so bright … because of the fog but the intensity of the sun… it was getting higher.
About ten of kilometers far from the main city we came to the very silence land Kapilbasthu…with not many houses around, believed as the birthplace of the Buddha. But before walking to the place… many decided to do a sort of shopping.

I was astronised when suddenly Som sir who was next me … offered me a favour. He asked me if I wanted some money. I just said okay then he handed me the hundred Rupee note… I took it from him but … but I was shocked, surprised and amazed… but with a lot of happiness too. When I went home in the vacation, and told mother about his favour… she had given me the sum to give it back to him… but I failed to give it… because of my own necessity I happened to use it for my own purpose. Since then never could give it back to him.

Within few hours of our stay there we looked and observed the place around. We visited the ancient relics… monastaries, asoka pillars… the several square blocks raised above the grounds, meant to be for his disciples during his preaching. It was told his disciples were buried underneath it after they died… Yes it was wonderful place to looke around.

Before we left we went to look for the fireplace that would burn through out day and night and for years and years… it wasn’t big but it burned uniformly… I couldn’t know how this worked. However some said it was with the gases.

Some time before the noon we decided to return… it was more than two hours drive when we came to butwal for the lunch. And at the main crossroad of the town… it linked to two different highways. One that we had come from and the next one on the right the one that we were to go… There weren’t big hotels… just looked like small houses with sheet metal roof. I was desperate with the hunger so, made the way out for the first shift. After then, we had time, we were free for the moment because it was then the turn for the second shift. So, I decided coming inside the bus where I waited sometime for other friends to come… Our bus had stopped just in the right edge beginning of the highway. Opposite to it was a big cinema hall. It was more than about an hour we stayed there.

On the left side… there was a butcher’s shop… There was nothing else to do… so something went inside my mind when I looked at the little bblack goat tied on the wooden pole... The butcher was busy boiling the water in the big drum… As I watched I could see the butcher moving around and getting ready preparing to kill the little goat. Sometimes these sorts of things would take me to some sort of isolation and it would make me think over and over about the same thing … to understand and to know the reality… I would go asking why…? Why…? After all why we humans fail to feel everything has life… just as we do everything want to live their life … with their own way and with no fear and terror. But when we were to realise this.

I questioned to myself… perhaps the goat should have realised it’s death …shouldn’t it? It is something where there is life… just as we do. Only that made the difference is that we proved we were the supreme of all the creations and used every other living creatures only to feel our hungers and needs. I could see the little goat had the life… it had the breath… it had the vision and in some time later I was to see it dead. For once to some extent it terrified me. I knew and I had always felt something if it had life… it would be much different than us… only the thing is other animals do have the feelings… they are meant for love … they can also care only if … if we tired to understand. These creatures could also return something good if, we do good to them. These poor little animals would never succeed to explain it to us the way we do … but still they something might give more than we human do in return.

I couldn’t keep staying longer at the place… watching the poor creature being brutally murdered… nor could I do anything to help it. Only the thing was… I prayed for the little soul, for it if it could get the nicest place in heaven than we ignorant humans do.

Since my younger days, perhaps when I was about seven I felt closer to animal… even when I was a small kid, father had got a sick and skin little baby cow from the capital… he told it was for me… Even those moments… I had very intense feeling for it… felt it the next soul just the way I was… And easily I made it my friend. I would often stay behind it… comb its hair …sometime clean it with water… even went cutting glasses in the field for it.

Even during the prior days when my mother had left her for grazing… I used to run beside the little cow screaming and crying… I told mother not to set it free because I was worried if other bigger cattle would hurt it. That day she tied her for me… butnext day she again let her free to graze… For few days I went after her… with a big stick so that I could defend her from the others… And with days she grew up bigger and stronger… and I realised I needn’t worry about it anymore. Even after she grew up very big… I cared her as much as I used to do… Often I could come to her and if I find her sitting I would walk to herand sit by her next… caress her with my hands… She would understand it …in return he used move her face and layed it over my legs… and closed her eyes… making me easier to tenderly move my hands around her gaint face.

It was fun doing all this… even more… taking her to lake …to wash her … She never wanted it but … in the hot summer I think washing did make her cleaner and fresh. Initally she never liked it … but also she never did offend while we tried to take her to the deeper until I got almost half of myself into the water.

It was about one in the day, everyone were ready to go. … Then we left the place… soon we were far away from the small city … as we drove… we could only see houses by the road sides. The main land was flat so the highway was almost smooth and straight… it wasn’t futher we had come, the bus stopped infront of a big industry. It was Lumbini Sugar Factory.

Teachers went and talked to the people and staffs in the office just on the left to the main entrance. They came with a good news they would permit us to see how the sugar was produced from the sugar came… Before they took us… to the building we were asked to be in the line… then from one compartment to the next they showed us how the sugarcane was squeezed, then the juice was separted, then heating, boiling and cooling processes in big tans before the sugar was formed. We were all delighted to get chances to see this all.

Some time later, we again came across a paper industry ‘Bhrikuti Paper Industry’. Here we were also fortunate to see the different compartments that totally could only produce the books and copies for us… The staffs generously tried to show us the most they could… they showed the place where the trucks brought the big loads of grasses and bamboo leaves. Just about a year back… there was fire in the factory over these dead leaves and plants brought as the raw material to manufacture paper. It should have cost them hundred thousand Rupees of losses when it went into fire and turned into ashes.

The raw material… were fed and grinded into little pieces … mixed with water… and after various process they were produces as the long and thin paper rolls… Several varieties and thickness could be produced before they were cut into desired shape and size.

It was already dark when we came across a small town …for tea… We didn’t stop there longer before we drove back to school again. It was very late evening when we reached the school. We then rushed to dining for the dinner before we finally went to our bed.

In few days I was back home for the winter vacation.


***