Showing posts with label 09. Part IX. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 09. Part IX. Show all posts

Part IX

After these many years… now it was the final year of the high school… The four of the friends Daksha, Deepak, Santosh Thapa and Durga could pass the final exams. Now we were only twentythree in the class. In the place of Daksha… Giri was again the captian of the class. There was another news… that was an extreme glory for me. Kaji sir had left the school. He had left for Japan… We were happy for he was gone… but principal was desperate for not letting him know about the fact in the right time.

Since the beginning … something we had always been talking about was about the tour… tour to Darjeeling, the northern beautiful hill land of India which had once been the part of Nepal before the invasion of India by the Engish Emperor.

However due to the possible complexity of the boundary they result to the next valley closer to it … but that lied in the region of Nepal… a little city on the top of the hill, Illam.It was a five days trip… just as every tour what would be new… gambling through the night… making out some money and looking around for new things … that was it. In all it was more only the bus ride… all the way along… for five long days then finally the whole fifth night until the seven the next morning before we reached the school.

But something that reminds me of the time was an accident that had shaken my heart… the first day on the trip and during the late afternoon stopage for the tea… while crossing the road… With these eyes, I had seen a little black dog was crushed over the head with the large wheels of the bus… which left the dog dead in the middle of the road with in a minute…

On the way back… We had a new teacher with us. Benam sir we called him. He was an english teacher from South India. The same month we had the farewell for two great teachers, Sinjali sir and Nepali guru. They were the great teachers … thought the school didn’t offically make any farewell we decided doing it with our own way. On the last day… that afternoon we called the teachers into our classroom. As per our arrangements… I had decided to make some announcements so, when they arrived everybody took their seats… the teachers sat on the two chairs in the front of the class.

I initiated the show… with few words of contribution to the great treachers. Santosh, the captian then gave the speech before the we put the flower garlands and coloured them before they were awarded the presents with the little money we all together had raised for them. The teachers seemed glorified with our true respect and devotion because we truly had always loved and respected them.

Before the show ended both the teachers gave their words giving us best wishes to do good for the future. It was a remarkable day.

Few weeks later three new teachers were assigned. Fuleshor sir for mathematics… Sigdel guru for Nepali and Avujit sir for accounts. They too were the great teachers.

After the tour… the time came … there was the preparation for the schoolday. Since our last years final school exam was likely to be on the first week of the Feburary … it was thought it could become the last year for us.

Again this year I was offered a part in the Nepali dramma. It was good this tme I wasn’t only alone … there were five other of my mates taking part… though it wasn’t really the important part but still it wasn’t short. This time three of us … Narjan, Kushal and me … we were offered the part of the interviewers to ask the questions to the person coming to seek for the job.Other mates Santosh grg and Upendra… they had their own … and a different one.

This year teachers also decided for science exihibition… there were four different groups with ten individauls in each… fortunately I was also made the leader of the one. From the class Prajol, who had been assisting me for the news reading became my mate in the group again. He was a fine mate for cooperation and it was always easy in doing things because he had always turned very helpful to me… And he was very patient and well hearing to me … what ever I decided there was no any opposition he would accept it and do it there wasn’t any doubt.

As being the leaders of the exihibition team the science teacher asked us to make the big science figures… that usually included the figures realated to physics or the biology. Thoses days as I was more oriented to the biology there were few figures I made… One was a sort of copy of human anatomy…that included the human physiology… Heart, lungs... and the digestive systems… it became one of the very admired figure… it didn’t look that good when I made it…. But an accompany of my friend Santosh Shrestha with his beautiful skills for painting gave my work the true value for admiration…

Apart from this I made two others figures… the embroy development and next was the different layers of earth… However the names for them… was not assigned with mine… Upendra asked me … for this… and I decided to do the favour for him…For the exibition we were all asked to do some thing… toshow some demostrations… everybody thought different things… preparations of gases… generation of electricity and others… where as for me … I decided to demonstrate the dynamo…

It was a dream I had seen … but even as the time came by there was no sign… for the possibility of the demostration that I had decided so then the teachers asked me to give up and decided for the next. So, with my friend Prajol… we together decided for the show… onion cell show through the microscope…

There were only few days more for the final presentation on the school day… that following after noon after the lunch… during the lunch break with Bishnu we went to the little lab… which was the small room at the right corner on the upper floor of the school building. There were already the science teacher’s students and also the school campcommandent. Everyone seemed busy in own way working for the final day… For me … there wasn’t the hard job which I had supposed to do…. So, my mind was almost vacant.

Suddenly my sight reached at the corner of the window… in the... there was a small woulfs bottle inside it was the dilute hydrochloric acid and the pieces of zinc which might have been kept a day or two days earlier for the preparation of hydrogen gas… I didn’t know what went over in my brain, I picked it up on my hand… and wishing to see the fire at the outer outlet of the delivery tube… I brought the fire on it… Suddenly there was “BANG” a huge sound that almost took my breath… the room was silent and every body looked at me in a horror and anguish… there wasn’t the cork lid in the bottle … the combustion had blown it away… where di it go I didn’t know… I was lucky nothing happened to me.

However, I couldn’t speak a word even… Som sir then came to me … he didn’t seem to be happy about it … I realised it was my mistake.. I had thought it would give a continious burning fire at the end of the delivery tube … which was not true…Desperately I walked out of room… It did brought some discomfort in me … I couldn’t enter the lab for the next few days however later I did get into it again.


On the main day… what so ever we could call it... ‘School day’ or the ‘Parent’s Day’.
Since I had taken part in the dramma and also I had been the group leader in the science exihibition show … I had invited the mom for the show… She had assured that she would come…
In the aftersoon … there had already been many people that had arrived in the school, which included parents the most. Also other guest including different government authorites and police officers of the various ranks had also arrived.

We as the participants for the exibition were called before the crowd were led to the opera for the cultural program and other shows. We were told that initally they would pass us … where we would all be prepared for any question that they might ask us. The exibition show was performed in two rooms … one in the main science lab and next inside our classroom. Our case wasn’t of that complicated… we had two microscopes with the inion slides … so… our job was just to show them the slides and answer the question if they had… Prajol and me … we were lucky… we didn’t find really anyone that ever asked us the real question … Most of them just looked from the top lens… where as there were some who did ask… but they only asked what it was … then moved away.

It wasn’t long … the crowed had come into our room.... when my mother too came within them. Looking at me … she just smiled… perhaps she was proud … for that I was doing something … and silently walked away. After the crowds were gone an program had initiated… we left the room and tried preparing for the show… as for us … it was easier than the other participants… And as the part of interviewer in the show… we were told to put on the school uniform itself… which we already had.

Our dramma had been in the middle of the show… which was lamost about one and half-hour time after the initiation. I had been so happy… it was first ime even in all of my school life … I had been taking part in the dramma… and mother had been there for it… I was just waing for the turn… so that I would be on the stage to show my part.

There were still some dances to performed… suddenly I was surprised when I saw the mother comeing out of the room. She came and talked to me … the rain was about to come so, we had desperately decided to leave… I was sort of astronised and surprised… The rom had been so crowed and full of people that I didn’t feel it right to tell mother that the dramma was just the next.

We looked at each others face before I preeceed my paces down the steps… we walked down and I walked together with her till the school gate before she went acroos the gate and I returneed back to the opera hall… Even… mother wasn’t there to watch my part … But I was happy she had been there at least to see the exhibition though… I was the way that I satisfied to myself.

Days were fleeing. In few weeks there was the first term exam. It was for about a week. As it was the final year for the school and almost at the end of the year we were to face the SLC, teachers decided to make us stay during the vacation. The third day, after the arrival from the school, even earlier before my arrival she had decided to take me to our father’s village. As it was almost a decade earlier that the uncle, (just elder to my father) had died Aunt had called us for her daughter marriage. So, mother had sorted out… I would help her all the way going to the place.

On Sunday, we went for the shopping… surprisingly mother decided to buy me a watch. I was surprised and happy … because I had never asked for it… and even before I had talked to her about it … she had felt I needed one. That day she got mer a watch for eight hundred and fifity rupees. I made the choice. Well, it worked well for the next six years…

The Monday morning we started off the way. It was a fine morning… with sun trying to rise high up in the sky. As we approached closer to the bus station, we got the bus that was ready to go round the way. It was about seven years later I was going to my villlage again… the place where I was born and all the early days were elasped. I was feeling excited recaling all the past… those beautiful hills… the great riverside and the specular landscape… I couldn’t keep out my eyes from it.

About an hour ride out from the town… there came a little place with few houses. It was the place where we had to stop and walk down. Walking down the hill wasn’t difficult… because talking to the mother… I didn’t feel the difficulties working out the time. About in two hours walk… we finally came to the base of the hill from where we again had to climb up…. Things hadn’t changed much since the last time … except for the abandoned houses. Close to the road there was the muddy road to a big town…. After the new highway was made from Our city all the businessman had abandoned the place except for some of the people who had been from the place… had their family … father …perhaps grand father living there since long long time.

Coming closer… we stopped at the small teashop in the little hut owned by an old women.. I took tea and some biscuits… where as she just took tea. After leaving the place … she decided seeing some of the old relatives who had been her friends when we had been at the place.After then we decided to walk…Then crossing the suspension bridge… and walking through the stone steps along the terraces… it was only in the late afternoon we reached the top of the hill… to the realtives and Uncle’s house. After years seeing everyone … they welcommed us… We were also delighted seeing them.That night we stayed there.

Next morning, it was a new place so with others I too woke but I was the last one to leave the room. When I came out of the room the neighbours and the relatives had already arrived. There were few … tenths in numbers not hundred. Suddenly, someone hold me from the back… I looked back to see who it was…. It was one of my cousin… the youngest son of the sister of my father.

It was several years later, today I had seen him…. And he recognised me in the first place… I was so surprised about it. I was glad to see him… Well there were few reasons I had greater feeling for him… He was almost deaf… and too he couldn’t speak… He was so glad seeing me … he asked me to come with him in the woods… Yes we walked out from the place … on the way he tried to tell me so many things but I couldn’t get most of it … to convince me he tired his best with the signals he could but still it remained beyobnd my capabilities. I couldn’t get it…

It was about an hour later we came back to the place … there was already a small fireplace made infront of the lawn… there were people sitting around… father had also arrived there but we didn’t talk… Things didn’t happen the way I expected, the house wasn’t decorated with colorful papers … nor there was any sort of traditional music… it was a very simple and silent marriage… It had been in the village it wasn’t so big and organised as the rich people in the town would do.
The marriage ended after the midday…. After the little party mother and me … we decided to leave the earliest of all… and we did.

For me… I wasn’t interest with all this though. I would never to it this way… it wasn’t important to me that I would be interested to show or let others know how grand and how big the day would be…. For me I would say it is just a process and it is not necessary to show others about it… Meaning it grand is not the success… taking it longer could be more admirable. But sometimes sayings are very different to realities. Realities can be harsh and unrejectable. Marriage is just a basic thing but we humans have made it so complicated that it has become very dependent to several factors… Sometimes I have spent sometime thinking about it. And it has left so much of the question I was unable to get the anwers …so I had to ignore the subject matter.

That late evening we were back home. A week later, our vacation was over. We … all the students of the class ten were back on the same day. Even the friends from the farther places had arrived. Just with only of us… With those big empty buildings the place was like a vaccum. It was dead silent and lonely.

But still it wasn’t bad I would say. Everyday we had study hours… From eight in the morning to eleven… and from one to four in the late afternoon again from six to seven thirty and finally from eight to ten. So, we were to study almost nine hours everyday and seven days a week… except on the Friday eve and the Saturday afternoon.

Though sometime it was usual that we felt lonely… but being lonely was some thing more beautiful… Three hours off in the daytime … we would somtime come out in the sun or sometime do some washing.

It wasn’t difficult… a day and then two… a week passed …then two week wasn’t long… we were back again to our home for a week holiday again.

Seven days wasn’t long… before we were again back to school.

It had been the first Saturday after we had arrived from home… for a week holiday.
The following Saturday we talked to the class teacher, Som sir... if he would talk us to Dhor bahari… the temple with the fishes. It was monsoon… the day was dark. After the lunch in the noon we set up for the day trip. Just about two kilometers bus ride from the school towards the north along the highway we dropped and walked the muddy road. It was few hours walk from the place.

On the way, everyone was in his own. I was at the last in all and with Som sir. When we walked I would usually be with him by his side. That day… through the half way we walked together but from then he walked out to his friend house and asked to call him when he returned where as I followed oth other friends and caught them and walked together.

The day was dark but clear. It had enough of the rain earlier that night and still it was cloudy.
In the month of monsoon… It was so agreen every where …open fields were now almost covered with rice plants… which seemed fresh as they seemed to have been planted only within the recent days…. We came passing through them… Due to rain… even the small streams that should have dried in winter seemed like big river. The day was some sort of adventure because walking the two hours way before we came to the place we were all covered with mud and half of us that we had worn was wet.

The place wasn’t big the way I expected… it was small but it had been in the beautiful landscape. It was a small place underneath the length of hill. There were beautiful waterfalls that ran down from the temple. There was a small pool on the surrounded by the stepped stone walls… and almost at the end there was a huge stone.

There were few strange things about the place. The first thing was the stram that flowed to the poor came from underneath the rock bed of that hill. There was the legend that the water level would rise and fall in the strange way. There were large numbers of fishes… most were bigger in size and should have been about ten pounds each in such a small place… in the half a meter deep pool.

There was next legend about the place… the golded fish… an eel… people told during the sacrifice of an animal the golden eel would appear to feed on the blood of the animal. However it was not usually seen. Even the rutual for the sacrifice of the animal was strange. To every animal that were brought for the sacrifice in the place people had to step the poor little animal at the stone in the pool… The stone was believed as the god. So, For stepping the god, the poor animal was to be sacrificed.

Though I felt the great about the nature but the rituals and belief that the people believed was something unsatisfactory… Sometime it made me think… why are we some time so stupid? Why we had to place on the blame on the little animal before we are killing it for our own reasons… some time these feelings were so obsessive that I wouldn’t be alble to stop from breaking apart within myself from the devastation.

Some time after the rest we all decided to return. It started raining when we walked back. I had the rain coat with me… so on the way back Bishnu and me we were two in a sigle rain coat…He was on my right with right hand through the rain coat where as I had the left hand inside it. While getting back there wasn’t other way… we all walked back to school. It was already four when we reached the school. Som sir wasn’t happy because we were late.

It had been three weeks since I was back from home. First week of July, I had the severe cold and cough. As it had always been worse… It had desperately turned me off on the first. Acknowledging my bad health I was surprised, that morning Som sir came with the medicine for the cold. I was so delighted… He was someone who would always care me than anybody else and when I had needed he was right there infront of me.

The medicine was strong. It did give me strength during the hard times though it wasn’t atleast before two weeks that I finally recovered from the cold.

It was just few weeks later, in one of those evening classes… Prakash, me… and Nawaraj… we were making pictures on the blackboard. It had been the selfstudy time and we weren’t known that day was Somsir turn to watch over the classes.

Well, when he appeared on the door… he wasn’t happy seing us. In rage he shouted at us… He told us that it wasn’t the place for us to write… we had to get our copies. That moment I was really terrified with him. He was such a good teacher for me … and had always loved me but that day when I was also scolded I couldn’t keep up with myself… That night I couldn’t sleep… the tears came falling and I didn’t even knew when I had got into sleep.

It was for few days… I was unable to talk but it didn’t last longer… after all he was the best and there way no way I would again feel so offended. It was few days later, while I was in his room taking to him he admitted sometime he wasn’t good. He told it was his weekness.

Som sir… he had always been different to me… I never got the reason nor the meaning for why and how was I closer to him… but he did always gave me favours for the reasons that I had never known. He would often take me to his room… I had ften slept there as nobody ever got that favour from any teachers… soemtime I even had watched some movies in his room… some time he had even taken me out of the school offered me tea milk or drinks. Sometime he would even present me some money or things like pen or something else.

Sometime he would also ask me some help… some time to copy things…. Make results of the school exams of his class or write on the certificates during the sports day… Whenever he was with a work … if he saw me… he would ask for the help and I always loved to work for him, because I always felt the worth of doing it. Apart from this there were also few things I greatly appreciated about him. He was really a genius and hard working man.

Though it wasn’t that friends ever talked against him… because he usually ignored everyone. So, there was no reason my friends feel offended by him. Instead there were few reasons some time we would plead him…. Stories … the ghost stories… we would say… sir friends have started going home… so would you tell us the story…” Then he would agree with us. Then we would again say…. The ghost story.


Since it was the last year for us… we had been given the most possible facilities. Since Benam Sir had came to the school … we had known he was always fond of coming closer to the friends. Once, we talked about the Saturday’s few hours leave from the school. We told him it would somehow refresh us after the exhaustion.Well he did… on the following Saturday several groups were formed and he signed us the leave for the few hours. What was there to do… there was nothing … so we went for the movie show.

Next week again we made the request. He gave it up.

But after then the principle banned the leave… he wanted us to concentrate on the studies… not the leaves.

It was the last week of July, Sunday morning mother came to the school. I was shocked by her unexpected visit. Father hadn’t been good for the family… he had raised the problem so she had come to take me… if there could be something we could do together. She was with tears … nor she was well dresssed, I couldn’t resist the moment.

But then I felt that it was shame making myself weak with tears… I decided to get stronger. In went to the staff room to get to the hostel teachers. There had been Som sir and Kumar sir… when I asked for the leaved… they signed on the paper and gave it to me but didn’t asked a single word. I was delighted they always trusted me.

That day getting back home… mother got busy gathering people in the community for the talk… I stayed up whole day thinking about. Why does it really happen? Why wouldn’t it stop? After my sister Bishnu had been married, it was me who was the one that kept fighting against the father. He had always been rude to us … and usually for the mother. So, I was the only one who dared to talk to him or fight against him. And sometime I really had fought with him.

Next day there were about ten people from the community.. the respected ones … I should say. But I wasn’t known to any. The dicussion went I was in it for sometime before I decided to move out because I didn’t see there would be the permanent solution. However in someway it was helpful because it gave the solution for that instant before I could again return back to school the next day.

In the beginning of October, all the courses were finished except for the accounts and management. On the Second week we had the pre- sentup exam from the school. On the last day, after the exam had been over… that eve… there wasn’t anyone in the hostel. I was preparing myself getting ready with the things for the vacation. Most of the friends had been in the opera for the telivision show.

It was at about nine… I heard the noise of the crowd coming to the hostel room… they were no more… they were the hostel friends. I was shocked they all were drunk. They had run away from the hostel to some sort of local drinking place. Some immediately had to rush to toilet as it seemed it had been really too much for them. Where as the rest of them who came … started the concert in the hostel room… They started beating the tables with the pair of stick… some started dacing with the rhythm where as some started kicking the other…. Giri was the one with who was with the sticks… yogen was with his feets trying to get along with it and Prakash shrestha was the one who was trying to kick yogen at his back… As I watched them… I did see prakash kicked yogen and with the kick yogen had almost hit his head to the iron bar of the bed infront of him.

They were all shouting and when I tried to stop them non of them would hear… just then giri came with the little wine bottle. He told us he would easily break it on his head. I though it was just a joke… but surprisingly he bowed down… got in his knees and with the bottle in between his two hands smashed it over his head… the glass broke into pieces and his head started bleading….He had to wash his head. It was no longer … yogen and prakash were also rushed toilet before they were led on their bed.

But the shouting had not stopped…. The remainings hadn’t kept quite… soon other friends who had gone for the tv show came back… Some of them came whispering… “Teachers are coming…. Teachers are coming” … Somebody turned off the hostel light… sometime later we heard teachers passing by the side of the hostel… One was the Kumar sir… there was the next person with him.

In few days I was back home for the vacation for about a month. This time I wasn’t really for vacation… I had decided making notes from other friend in the neighbourhood. Well for the help he told he hadn’t got anything but he would get it from some one. All the month was spent for it … even during the main days on the Hindu’s biggest festival … I was with the books.

Few days before returning back to I completed the notes… Even in the class itself I had one of the best notes… accounts and science … I had relatively given them the most priority … and also Nepali, english and Physical education …I kept pace with them. For mathematics I need any notes…

The result of the pre-test was published… kushal was the second … I was surprised I was third. Narajn was undefeatable… he was always the first.

It was only about a month time for our sent up… This time the questions were to come from the central school and they were to be examined by the teachers there so we were to prepare it more seriously.

Just some time before the exam… we learnt our SLC which used to take place in January was posponded to the after the second week of March.

It didn’t take longer before the time came for the Sent up exams… We had the question… the questions weren’t easy. It was known… the teachers would make it tough. After the exam, the papers were sent back. Along with our sent up… the school had the final exam for the rest. After the final they would have vacation. But for us… No, we were to remain there through out the time. The teachers had the meeting and they decided to give only the last four days of the two weeks vacation.

But remaining at school they decided to do us some favour … they decided giving us night deit… coffee and noodles or biscuits at about ten in the late eveing, and tea every morning at about four. And alternately in every two days there was the chiken in the meal. Above all… every lunch and dinner, for us… only for us they would place every thing on the roof top of the dining hall… There we would take as much as we wanted… everything as we wished. High school days for us were coming closer to the end but with time we were even more liberated and free….

Well, for the two weeks time was scheduled as the earlier times… We would be woken at five… then at seven we would go for breakfast… then again from eight till ten we had the study time… again in the afternoon it started from one to four… then again from six to seven and finally from eight to ten… It was for seven days a week.

Though we had oppurtunity to study by our own… during the two weeks vacation our class was broken up into two parts… one for the good one and others for the weaker one… Usually teachers wouldn’t come for us… instead they would go in the other classroom with other friends and tried the best to help them… with the earlier taught lessons.

Surprisingly the following Saturday afternoon there wasn’t anyone in the hostel nor in the classroom… everyone had been aways from the school. We didn’t know where others went but Santosh, the class captain… Prakash… Nawaraj … we togther went to the riverside down below… we were half way in the river trying to closs it to go to the next side but we decided to return back. Luckly teachers didn’t know anything about it. They would have never liked it if they knew it.

It was one of those evenings just few days before we left for the holidays, the pricipal of the central school visited our school. Since we had been only the students in the school, that evening he came to take the class for us… The only thing he repeatedly talked about was “One percent insperation and ninty percent perspiration.” Explaining the sentence … he told with one percent of insperation we got to work with ninty nine percent of our efforts and capabilities. Time… days weren’t long, they elaspsed like little moments. Then we were back home for four days stay…


Again back to school few things had chaged… I would say party the structure of the school had changed… the teachers were removed from the hostel teachers instead police personnels were appointed in the place. Even for us … Som sir had left the room and Ambika, the police personal from the central school had taken the place. There were many stories around… everybody told he was very strict and didn’t want any carelessness or stupidity.

Also the news surprised me. Before we left for the holidays I had talked to Avijit sir, to get a guitar for me as he had done to one of my friend Chandra. But his departure surprised me…Finally I decided to make a phone call. Lucky he assurred me that he was to come to school for one more time and that day he would bring a guitar for me. I was really happy for it…It hadn’t been longer before I had learnt few chords from my friends. They used to always be a guitar … at least one … or two… in our hostel… though some time some of the younger brothers took them… And it wasn’t easy get turn to play because there would always be someone with it in the freetime … and the turn would be reserved by somebody other. So, we would have to assign our self… in a wish to get a turn though some time we got where as sometime we didn’t.In reality I wasn’t good still. (Even till this time after about seven years I am not still so smart). I just knew few chords… But surprisingly some how, I learnt it quicker than few of the other of my friends. In few weeks somehow I would make rhythm of the song… and in about two months I could play the chords well… since then I caught the desire of a guitar… I felt I needed one… something I felt that would feel me… feel my stories … share my emotions and quitely see me every of my good and hard times. Perhaps something that could be a true friend.

Well coming back to home… I was hoping for the rest and refreshment for the mind… but it didn’t turn out to be the way I had expected. Just the second eve after the arrival… in the discussion with the father… I couldn’t resist myself before I exploded the fluroscent tube onto his head that let him fall on the ground… with only his eyes partly wounded. Four days later I was back to school again… few days I wasn’t able to concentrate but slowly I somehow managed to merge myself for the work.

When the school again began for everyone, we were again brought to the single class… I mean during the holiday we were differentiated into two classes. This class had long tables and benches… in two rows… there was a peculiar table infront of all these… and it was meant only for an individual. Well, I was the one who took it. Since the school began… teachers started concentrating on their work… We, we had the self study time through out the day… eventhough the teachers …especially the principal awlays wanted us to study but still we were not restricted to be only in the class… we were allowed to be anywhere… anywhere in the school compound. Usually there was only a person sometime watching over us … if we had been studying … or not and it was the principal. Though we were busy everymorning and evening but during the day time … it was somehow boring to be studying… So, we would make out our ways… and usually no one knew who would have gone where … to which corner of the school… I would usually be in the classroom but I had learnt some of the friends would sometime run away to the riverside or in the jungle or gamble somewhere... making up there own way.

After the sent up things slightly changed for me… for the last two years Bishnu and I, we had been the best friends… he was the only person who knew me… and perhaps he was the only one who told me most of all of his stories…Being friends is general but being good friends sometime is complicated. But we both had always kept the pace to make it together. It is true… and natural that we would sometime break apart because of some discussions… but still we didn’t make a new move to find a newer friend… because in few days we would be together again.

But this time the case was somehow different… there was nothing that came us to slightly break apart… it somehow happened itself that unknowingly happened to make our own ways. I kept alone… and would mix up with anyone any time… where as for him… he drew closer to the next classmate … Sunil. Though since then we weren’t together again but still I knew we were always good as ever. As we would always feel free to share the things anytime.

Well, then I had made up my own schedule… every morning our hostel light would be turned on at four… By the time even many of the friend would have already gone out in the classroom for the studies… But for me I would patiencely make the way… I would lay on the bed… for sometime before I would slowly come out and go to the classroom. I would do it alone. Though most of the friends would already be in the class… but still there were many still the hostel bed. During the earlier days I used to stay in the class with everyone… and studied there but later I followed up Santosh, the class captain. He used to go a junior class, and locked himself inside it… I then decided to do the same … I took the classroom next to his… it was the same class where we had studied the last three years.

The tea would come out about five… we would then go for the tea… Usually satosh would come to the door and tell me about it … he was smarter than I was. Usually there was an old man about seventy who used to bring tea for us every morning. He was really a small man old and weak that would come coughing in the cold. Sometimes he would be gone and we unfortunately happened to miss it…

It was about a month later, one following morning during the study hour, from the window of the classroom I saw Avijit Sir coming in the school building. As he drew nearer I saw he was with a guitar case. I was so delighted that I kept looking his way…He went to the office but I still kept waiting.

I kept waiting for when he could come to see us.. talk to us and the same time when he would call me and would offer me my guitar… Something I was so excited about was to see how it looked like… the look of the face of it. It was only in the afternoon we could meet him. And a shock to me… he hadn’t brought the guitar for me… he told me it was a smaller one and was meant for the school… However he promised to get one for me. I still kept the faith… Perhaps he would once bring it to me too.


It was now about two months for the final… the following week result of the sent up came in the school. I was surprised… I had got the second position in the class. I had good marks in mathematics and account but something extraordinary in all my life was I had made the best mark in science … which perhaps shocked the teacher too. I had got eighty-nine in hundred… It was since then, science teacher got curious about me too though I knew I wasn’t the worth to it. That was a complete shock to me but still a sort of inspiration as well.

It was two weeks later… we had the festival Shivaratri… Just as every year… we would have a big fire in the evening and sugarcane …to heat it up in the huge rage of fire and brust it with big boom. That day later in the evening we gathered next to the yard of the dining hall. Most of the junior brothers had left for the holiday but as for us... we were not allowed to go home because of the SLC. The teachers told we should rather prepare for exams… than going home but still that following eve they would let us be there in the fireplace to make out some gun. Everyone in the school gathered, the school camp comandent had also with his wife to see it. To make even a bigger celebration we had brought two guitars with us from the hostel so that we could also sing and dance.

Almost everyone was there so, the camp commandent gave the words that we could start the fire. From the instant we had already started with the music. In some while I would also take the chance to play the guitar for everyone. The wood they were big ones and it was a big chunk… about two meters perhaps… It hadn’t been longer since we had started then… it started raining… It wasn’t the big rain though. The wood it didn’t seem good… and the rain it even made the situation worse… it was for about and hour we tried lighting up the fire… but it didn’t work. Though some time it seemed to come out a little bit giving us a little hope but then again it burnt out. In desperation slowly everyone started leaving. From our class we were still there singing for overselves.

Finally at about nine… four of us remained Narjan, Laxman, Rabindra and myself. It was still raining but it wasn’t even big to wet us… so we ignored instead we together worked to make the fire. Rather than trying over the bigger ones we seperated smaller branches and at a corner started a fire… Perhaps we did the right thing. The branches were dry so it was soon we had a small fire… and in no time it got bigger and bigger… finally it was a big fire.

We had expected the others would come to join us… but it had already got late and the fireplace wouldn’t be seen from the hostel so nobody came. We, four of us were only there till the whole woods burnt to ashes. It was about eleven when it was over.

Though we were only four but still we had enjoyed… because we were already tired with the guitar so instead we were talking about our things. Suddenly we decided of something. Also in the Shive temple infront of our school there were people from the village… Women and men... young and old they had come into temple… they too had made a fireplace and were singing the prayer song. Initially we had just decided tyo go and see the place. Get out from the school wasn’t difficult… We easily crossed the fence. Now we were out of the school as we came closer it was strange to see how people had motivated themselves for such things.

But soon as we reached there… we decided to go even further… we wanted to also see how the people celebrated in the little town. To be away from school it was a strange and a different feeling. It would give happiness… but still we weren’t out of fear because if incase if the teachers came to know this they would sure be in shock..

Some thing that had given me the strength was Narjan. I would have never succeded doing it alone … or even with out him. He was the school Captain and even if we were caught… being with him would mean that I wouldn’t be the focus. But still I was ready for the penalty.

We walked about two kilometers from the school. the Street seemed lonely and people had already left for their home. So, there was no reason staying there before we decided to walk back to school.After we crept through the fence and came back at the hostel everyone had dead slept.

Days after day, the day did come. The day we had been waiting and talking and looking forward for so many years. The first day, it was 27th of March 1997. Today was Nepali exam. That day early in the morning at about six we had the breakfast… that day it had been the special for us… With Haluwa and Tea there was an egg in addition… because eggs in morning it never had happened. At quarter to seven we were ready in our school uniforms for the exams.

But before we left… the camp commandent and the principal they made the special ceremony to make the better start of our exams. They brought tika and flowers. The camp commandent put the tika on our forehead and gave flowers to each of us… After the ceremony… we left the school in the school bus and in only a couple of minutes arrived at the examination center. It was a nice day… there weren’t clouds in the sky… the sun was trying to rise up from the hill… the faint rays gave the enmormous wamth in that cool morning. We need not stay longer before they checked each of us… and let us inside through the school gate. It was a high school of the government… the school was just by the roadside and in the big space… The school wasn’t a big building … instead was a long building made of stones. Though the classroom were larger than our’s… but they also had the two rows of long table and benches. I had my number placed on the first desk on the side of the door. As the time grew closer… my excitation and nervousness grew more and more. Sometime before seven … all of us were given the answer sheets… we filled in accordance to the way the teachers had taught us. At seven the bell rung and we were given the question paper. I was momentarily shocked. For sometime I couldn’t start… I just kept seeing at the question paper… Something went in my mind… I asked to myself… Is this the same paper … that the thousands are seeing and faciting it around the country the same time?

It was after some time I decided I had to start. The question and answers were long so, I worked the total three hours and finally finished it sometime before the time. The next day was English. It wasn’t difficult and it was only about half of the metioned time before I felt I couldn’t stay longer. I had finished everything so, I walked back to school alone… that day when I reached the school gate… the camp commandent asked me… how had I done… I told him … it was well.

Nextday was Saturday… and since the morning I didn’t feel well … I had caught the severe cold and cough. It was so irressistible that I couldn’t study… so I had to come to the hostel to rest. After a sleep about an hour… I felt even worse … I had the fever. Before the lunch… I went to see the health assistant in the junior hostel. I told him… the cold was bad and I wanted the stronger medicine to resist. After the lunch, the fever was even bad… I had to rest… though next day was mathematics… I was sure that I could still do good with it even if I would be able to make anything out to do… But something I needed was… the next day… tomorrow… I got to feel better at any cost. That after while I was in the sleep one of a friend came and told me that there was a phone call from the home. I was shocked. It was ever the first phone call for me in the school in the nine long years. My head had heaved totally heavy and I wan’t in the mood to walk… but still got on my feet to the school office and waited for the phone call. On the phone it was mother… she told my second sister manju was back. There had been a fight between her husband and Bishnu my eldest and her husband. I was totally astronised and confused with it. I know they had told it to me … to let me know thought it wasn’t the good news. Getting back to hostel… I got the medicine. The assistant had got the stonger medicine for me. He told me to take two every day… on after athe lunch and next after the supper. For the fast recovery I took two at that instant went for sleep.It was about two hours later… I woke up. The medicine was so strong that my nose was closed and no more I could breathe through it. But in some time… I recovered from it… but still I had the severe headache… but the fever was gone. It was only in the late evening, I felt the need that I had to see the books for once. I felt the necessity that I had to see everything once before exams. I didn’t go through in details but somehow managed to touch everything in someways. Next morning I han’t the fever but the headache and cold was still severe. That morning I just took tea… I didn’t feel like eating anything. And with only tea I again took two medicines instead of one that the assistant had recommended.

Initially I had thought it could work well but things didn’t happen the way I though. During the exam I started feeling dizzy… felt in difficulties with the writing… the Yogen, who was right behind me had to correct many mistakes that I had made. Later he asked me… what had it happened to me. Later coming out… I was desperate about the day. I had ruined about twenty marks in the mathematics… That had been the worse result in the last three years. I had ruined the marks on the subject in which I had the greatest confidence.

Monday was the science… though some how I had recovered… but still it was only the cough. So, I had felt I had almost recovered because I knew for about a week or two I wouldn’t be able to get rid of it any any cost. During the exam… I felt I hadn’t done so bad… but after when it was over… and as we were walking back to school I was astronised seeing the question. Today I had again ruined the compulsory question of about ten marks.

All these things together did make a terrible blow for me. I was totally desperate and frustrated. I knew the result would never be the way I expected. And slowly I was losing hope… and I had started feeling things wouldn’t happen the way I had thoughts… the result would turn the worst in all. However the remaining exams weren’t bad. It was satisfactory with accounts, physical education and Optional mathematics. Friday everything ended.

Next day 15th of March, it would be the last day for us in the school… and the same day was the farewell day for us.

The preparations had already made… there wasn’t much with the show… except for the speeches that the teachers would deliver. I hadn’t been so serious with the speeches… but when the choir were presented on the stage and they sang the same song “ “Thada thada janu cha shati….” My eyes were full with tears … I couldn’t resist them.

Most of the every of our teachers gave the speech for us. From our side … it was Santosh, the captain who spoke in behalf for everyone. The show ended just in the noon. Then there was the party and picture taking programs. We hadn’t even done it… the sky started getting darker and strong wind started blowing. So, it was decided to end everything and after then… we had to get the things to prepare ourself to leave on that day. As everyone had already been prepared that early morning, it didn’t take longer that we were all soon streaming out of the school gate and preparing our way to our home. It became the last time to say goodbye to many of the friends… with whom I did spent such a long time for so many years or almost a decade… and we were to depart perhaps never seeing each other again.It was no longer the bus came… and we drove the way to the valley.



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